Dark Devotion
by danisnape
Summary: Starting in book 6 and staying semi-canon complaint, we see what happens between a rookie Auror (and her attraction to the Dark and dangerous) and a Death Eater double agent (and his attraction to the pure and innocent). WARNING: DARK, BDSM, LEMONS AHEAD, NOT A FLUFFY STORY. Co-Authored by wolfinthestars, started in July of 2011.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I will mention "SPOV" and "TPOV" for Snape's or Tonks' point-of-view for each chapter. This tale begins with Severus, at the begining of Harry's Year six. (and as always, reviews are welcome)

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: Neither myself nor wolfinthestars owns the Harry Potter series; it is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and WB, respectively. We make absolutely nothing from this.

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Severus had his wand out, doing the exact opposite of the lumos charm, skulking the halls of Hogwarts while wrapped in an aura of darkness.

Albus was out of the castle again, and had requested the Order to patrol the hallways as augmented protection to the Aurors that were already assigned there.

The Ground Floor was clear, as it always was. He wasn't sure exactly how anyone was supposed to crack the external shields of the castle, considering that it was designed to reject everyone bearing a Dark Mark. It was based off of his own arm, thus making him the only exception to the repulsion jinx. Dumbledore's skulduggery knew no bounds, as he did the same thing with Remus' blood to repel every other werewolf from entering the grounds as well.

Severus went out onto the grounds itself, and found himself trailing towards Hagrid's hut.

"Evenin', Snape." Hagrid nodded towards the Potions Master. "Ya ain't gotta worry about anyone coming through the Forest wit' a Disalut'ment Charm, not with me and Fang here."

Severus nodded his thanks, biting his tongue from the snarky response that was aching to come out. _Hagrid's ability to butcher the English Language is unparalleled. Never have I heard more words lose syllables than when he opens up his mouth._ He instead went for a softer insult, once he noticed Hagrid's pumpkin crop.

"I'm sure your mangy dog works just as well as your scarecrow works on your crops." Snape's wand pointed towards the pumpkin patch, where a few crows were perched on the scarecrow itself.

Hagrid jumped to, waving his pink umbrella at the offending birds. "Oi! Ger'off! Damned crows." He turned back to Snape as the Double Agent sent a banishment charm at the birds, throwing them back a few yards and stunned them before they flew off in fear.

"Ya ain't gotta do that to the pests, Severus. Just a simple flailin' arm will take care of them."

Severus stared at the Gameskeeper with a mask of indifference, knowing not to aggravate Albus' favorite charity case.

"Anyways, Severus, how's Harry doing in your Defense Class?"

_Albus' second favorite charity case, _he amended,_ that Potter boy gets more breaks than his father ever did for violating the school's rules._ "He is doing adequately, considering. Perhaps with Granger's tutoring, as he has undoubtedly had for countless years to survive in Potions, will make him be able to survive The Dark Lord when the time comes. Anyways, I must continue my patrol." With that, Severus turned away, and made his way towards the tree facing the lake. The one that he shared with Lily over a decade ago.

There was a lit wand there, and his eyes made out the unique shock of pink hair.

"Nymphadora. I see you're patrolling tonight as well." Severus sneered, his eyes lingering on the spot that he would sit during the happier times.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: TPOV

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Tonks finished getting ready in one of the four rooms that had been rented at the Three Broomsticks for the auror guard now posted at Hogwarts. Glancing at the mirror on the wall she was greeted by a young witch with purple hair, green pants, a pink tank top over a black long sleeve shirt, combat boots and a long brown trench coat. She made a face at herself, changing her nose into a pig snout, smiling wide before changing it back. With one last glance at the mirror she changed her hair from purple to a bright pink that matched her shirt. Double checking to make sure everything was in place, Tonks drew her wand and apparated to the Hogwarts' perimeter.

The edge of the Forbidden Forest took shape around her and she stumbled unceremoniously on a protruding root as she tried to move forward. She sighed, knowing apparition made anyone a bit wobbly but when coupled with her aptitude for clumsiness? She became a bloody walking hazard.

"Tonks?" a familiar voice asked. She looked up seeing the familiar face of Craig MacKenzie, the wizard whom she was relieving from his day watch, illuminated by the setting sun. "Always know how to make an entrance, don't ya?"

"Wotcher, Craig" Tonks smiled in greeting. "Anything to pass down?"

"It has been relatively quiet so far today. There was some minor commotion when a first year wandered too close to the Whomping Willow. Luckily I was patrolling nearby. Nothing Poppy won't be able to fix." He smiled, drawing attention to the many lines on his face making him look much older than he was.

"Poppy is a miracle worker. Merlin knows she patched me up enough when I was here. Have a good night Craig, I have it from here." Her colleague nodded back, giving a brief salute with his wand before disapparating.

Tonks took up the watch where he had left off, making her rounds along the grounds of Hogwarts, choosing a route that would take her along the far shore of the lake as the sun set below the horizon and darkness fell on the castle.

"Nymphadora. I see you're patrolling tonight as well."

Tonks turned at the sound of that name, her face set in a frown and her pink hair changing to a rather alarming shade of red. She held her wand forward for both illumination and to be used if necessary. Her eyes squinting as the shadows slowly took shape. "Snape" she said sharply, only his face discernable in the darkness. She willed her hair back to its previous shade of pink, irritated enough that she had shown that much of a reaction.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus sneered when he used her given name, knowing how much it irked her.

But as he saw her hair turn red, he took a sharp inhale of breath in an almost panic, before schooling his face back to his mask of boredom.

"Do keep control over yourself, Nymphadora. Surely, if you do not have the ability to maintain a minimal amount of self-discipline, perhaps someone will have to impose it upon you." As he said that, he approached her and looked imperiously down his nose at her. He kept his face carefully neutral, while his eyes burned with a look that she didn't quite understand. As he leered over her, he sniffed her with a look of disgust on his face.

"And if you insist on having liaisons with the beast, invest in flea collars. For both of you. I'm going to make a quick sweep of the grounds and patrol the lower half of the castle. You will do the upper."

As Severus turned to walk away, he murmured something about 'mangy, homicidal creatures with moon issues'.

_Perhaps if she stays away from me, these evenings when I am to patrol with her will be somewhat palatable. And she keeps herself from turning herself that shade of red._


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: TPOV.

* * *

Tonks rolled her eyes and looked away as he said her full name again. _Insufferable git!_ At his last words, "…perhaps someone will have to impose it upon you" her head snapped back in his direction, her eyes narrowing in a glare. Holding her ground, she watched him approach. She eventually had to look up to look him in the eyes, her own eyes filled with defiance. She couldn't deny her heart beating faster as he crowded her personal space. Her nerves on edge, caught between fight and flight. Inhaling deeply to calm herself, her nose filled with the scent of him, a mix of all the ingredients from his lab underlined with a musky but unmistakably male tone. She refocused as he spoke again.

"And if you insist on having liaisons with the beast, invest in flea collars. For both of you. I'm going to make a quick sweep of the grounds and patrol the lower half of the castle. You will do the upper."

Her hands clenched tightly, her nails digging into her left palm, the wood from her wand digging into her right, as his insults washed over her. She was momentarily speechless as she fought not to curse her so called _ally_ right in the middle of Hogwarts grounds, using the pain in her hands to ground herself and not give him the _pleasure_ of seeing her change again due to her emotions. As he left, her eyes glared sharply at his retreating form, her body still shaking slightly in rage.

_How dare he! Where the bloody hell does he get off telling me what to do….and FLEA COLLARS!_ The image of herself in a collar flashed through her mind. She groaned in disgust and shook her head to try to clear it. She continued to mentally berate both Snape and herself, even as she went to patrol the upper half of the castle, trying to reason with herself that the reason she was obeying him was that if she didn't it wouldn't get done.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: SPOV.

* * *

As Severus swept through the lower dungeons and made his way past the ground floor and kitchens, he wondered why he went so far in berating her. It was natural for him to do that to the students and to the Gryffindors in order to appear Pro-Slytherin in front of any student, in case a tale of his kindness or sense of fairness gets back to any of the Death Eaters... but she was no longer a student.

_It's that damned werewolf that she's fretting over,_ he mused. He didn't really blame Remus for the prank that nearly killed him and made him owe James Potter his life, a debt that cannot be repaid... no, for that, Sirius was to blame and Severus needled the man's inability to fight with the Order to the point where it got himself killed. He never meant for his childhood grudges to take the life of another; such misplaced animosity was meant for blundering Gryffindors to hold onto. He considered himself better than Sirius in that instance, until his payback ultimately cost his childhood's nemesis his life.

Now as Sirius was deceased, Severus turned his mind back to James and Lily. _What did she see in that bastard?_ He never could understand that, though he did realize why Lily didn't choose him. She was proud, assertive, and the kind of witch that would never be tied down. And he was the kind of wizard that liked having his witches tied down, after a fashion. At the first floor landing, he simply cast Hominem Revelio, and when it was confirmed that the entire floor was devoid of anything living, he made his way to the staircase to the second floor.

The castle, as did Albus, had a perverse sense of humor. Usually to put small obstacles in his way, or would make him and Peeves run into each other at least once a day. This time, it was the staircase taking him back down to the bottom floor, rather than upwards.

_Fine, I can just take the other stairwell back up._

As he went to the other stairwell that would lead him upwards, he found himself being glared at by none other than Tonks herself. She didn't say a word as she turned her back on him and went up to do her patrols.

"Bloody castle." He muttered, making his way back up the stairs behind her. As he trudged upwards, his eyes glanced momentarily on her combat boots and his mind recalled the shapely state of her legs and thighs in the green pants she was wearing. He couldn't help but appreciate her athletic form, the pink tank top notwithstanding.

Maybe that's what had him irked. Simple jealousy that one of those 'marauders' was happy being with someone. All he had were empty fantasies and an emptier bed. Dark Revels aside, his only intimacy with a witch was paid for off of Knockturn Alley. And the one experience was something that he did not ever wish to seek again.

_Though perhaps Auror Tonks would look good in a collar._ He mused as he reached the second floor, debating on whether to apologize for his words.

"Auror Tonks," He started, not sure where he was going with this, "Your familial name that you prefer is horrible; whereas your given name translates, albeit roughly, as 'gift to the nymphs'. I do not understand why you dislike your name since it is rooted in Greek Mythology. Anyways." He bowed his head slightly, and turned to patrol the second floor on his own.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: TPOV

A/N #2: I was attempting to only post 5 'chapters' a week, but the beginning of this story is kind of slow so I think I'll be posting 10 a week now. (At this rate, you'll have regular updates all the way until Christmas. This roleplay-turned-story began on HP's birthday in 2011. Seriously.) Please **PLEASE** review! I'd love feedback on this!

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Making her way up the sloped grounds toward the castle, images of both Remus and Snape pulled at Tonks' mind. She had tried so hard not to think of Remus, knowing it did little to help her concentration, but there he was and all thanks to Snape. She had finally told Remus how she felt, but all he ever responded with was petty objections about how he was a danger to her, how she needed to think this through, how he was too old, how it would never work out. _I am an auror for Merlin's sake! I'm not a kid and I have been known to handle my own share of danger, thank you very much!_ Tonk's inner rant deflated when she realized how many times she had gone through this before. Her hair dulled slightly, threatening to fade to the light brown she was born with and never hesitated to change, as she wondered if this was how it was going to be, her always begging "yes" and Remus always brushing it off with "no".

Firming up her resolve and defenses Tonks entered the castle and selected a staircase to take her to the seventh floor, only to have it finally make contact not with the seventh floor, but rather the second. She had just turned to take a different staircase when movement caught her eye. Looking down she saw Snape, making his own way up to the second floor. Tonks looked back, glaring at the offending staircase, feeling a sense of betrayal from the castle that had led her here, before glaring back at the true offender. Seeing that he had no intention of altering his own course, she turned on her heel to make an escape before any further confrontation was necessary.

"Auror Tonks."

Tonks paused not even sure if she had heard him right, her shock alone enough to make her slow her determined retreat. As she turned, she noticed that he was indeed coming toward her. She raised her chin slightly a rush of triumph at him finally addressing her properly ran through her.

"Yes?" She responded calmly despite her heart once again beating a staccato.

"Your familial name that you prefer is horrible; whereas your given name translates, albeit roughly, as 'gift to the nymphs'. I do not understand why you dislike your name since it is rooted in Greek Mythology. Anyways."

Tonks listened to his abrupt statement with a mix of anger, shy flattery, curiosity, and ultimately confusion. Her lips parted as if to respond; why, she did not know because at that very moment she had no idea if she had just been insulted or complimented or both. As he nodded and turned to leave, her voice returned.

"What the bloody hell was _that!?_" She demanded and started in his direction, determined to get a straight answer from. She had had enough of his orders and sneering comments. She wasn't a student anymore. She wasn't _his_ student anymore.

"First you insult my self control, then you insult Remus which is actually understandable since you two are always going at it, but then you call **_ME_** flea ridden, insult the name I choose to go by and then in some twisted turn decide to top it off by pointing out my name means that I am a 'gift to the nymphs'!" As her diatribe continued she marched closer and closer to Snape, her pink hair turning darker and darker in shade with each item she listed.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: SPOV

* * *

"What the bloody hell was that!?" Those words stopped him in mid-stride.

_Salazar's Snake, I make one attempt to apologize and she takes the opportunity to yell at me._ He thought to himself, knowing that she wasn't done yet. He pursed his lips and sighed a calming breath; this insufferable woman was getting his blood boiling and she wasn't done yet. The twice-damned Gryffindors never could just let someone else have the last word.

"First you insult my self control, then you insult Remus which is actually understandable since you two are always going at it, but then you call ME flea ridden, insult the name I choose to go by and then in some twisted turn decide to top it off by pointing out my name means that I am a 'gift to the nymphs'!"

As Tonk's regurgitation of the evening came forth, Severus was ready to turn and face her, to tell her off once and for all. He was usually good with his peripheral vision and his proximity charms, but his concentration was off.

As he spun around to face her, she was already there, her eyes narrowed in a calculating fashion. He had to back his head away from hers, the distance was too close for anything but an intimate dialogue, something that he couldn't ever see having with her. Her face conveyed anger, but he also saw that it held great passion. Of course, her current passion was to lay out a diatribe against him. His lips were pressed shut in frustration.

His eyes went to look at the rest of her features. Her nose was pert, and belonged on a face that he could only now see in his memory. The eyes were clear yet fierce; not the shade of green that he was haunted with as he saw Harry. And the hair was darkening once again.

He stepped backward, and mentally kicked himself for giving up the inches, as he took another calming breath. He lost composure in his face, and was having to work harder than usual to return it to the blank setting that he has relied upon for years. _This witch is more maddening than anyone else I have ever met._

"If you wish for me to call you by the dry and clinical name of 'Tonks', so be it. As for my past, Remus was the least troublesome member of James' little gang of miscreants. I shall endeavor to treat him civilly if he can do the same. Merlin knows how many times he tried to get James and Sirius to quit pestering me; likewise, I had always brewed the Wolfsbane Potion for him whenever requested.

"As for the flea-ridden remark, such infestations are highly contagious. Preventive care should always be..." Severus paused for a beat. "That comment was inappropriate. I do occasionally become a bit verbose when I feel unnecessarily needled. As for your familiar name, it was my attempt to apologize. I find your name quite lovely."

As Severus studied her, he realized that she didn't mention the collar comment. He filed that away for later. The shade of her hair was, once again, Lily-red. He didn't even realize that he had stepped forward to regain the ground he had given up earlier.

"As for my earlier remarks concerning your lack of self-control over your metamorph abilities, I shall only ask you once to refrain from turning your hair red. Go brown, purple, black... turn into a bloody rainbow for all I care." He only now realized how close he was to her, his nose was less than an inch away from hers, and her scent filled his nostrils. It was soft and feminine, something that brought out an ache within him. He let his eyes meet hers, and allowed himself to feel something that he has been denying himself for over a decade.

"If you ever need someone to help you control your emotions, send me an owl. The basics of Occlumency might be beneficial, along with other types of training." Severus was about to turn away, but paused. He knew she would want the last word.

"Was there anything else you wished to say, Auror Tonks?"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Her eyes went wide as he told her that he found her given name lovely. Other children, when she was growing up, had made fun of her name or at the very least wrinkled their nose at its odd sound. Soon she had acquired a similar dislike for her name. Her pa relented enough to call her Dora. Her friends and colleges heeded her request to call her Tonks. No one had ever said that they preferred Nymphadora, let alone call it lovely…until now. She didn't know what she expected when she had been heading full tilt at Snape, but it wasn't this. She couldn't deny the pleased and thrilling warmth that ran through her. A light pink blush gracing her cheeks.

"…refrain from turning your hair red. Go brown, purple, black... turn into a bloody rainbow for all I care." Snape intoned as she refocused on what he was saying rather than what he had said.

Her brow creased creating a slight frown as he admonished her current hair color. _What was wrong with red?_ For a man whose icy composure seemed ruffled by nothing, the request sparked curiosity rather than anger within her. _Merlin this man is a mystery...and what does he have against red?_ She made a note to herself to ask Remus should she get the chance.

"If you ever need someone to help you control your emotions, send me an owl. The basics of Occlumency might be beneficial, along with other types of training."

These three suggestions had her mind spinning. It felt like a trap and for some reason that didn't unnerve her or put her on the defensive quite as much as she felt it should. _Send him an owl? Let him in my mind? Try to get in his? And what other types of training?_

"Was there anything else you wished to say, Auror Tonks?"

There was no way she was voicing any of the question circling through her mind, nor did she simply want to concede without doing something. This was an argument….that had somehow turned into a conversation. But, what it wasn't, was a lecture; she had to give something. Her mind flashed back to one of his previous comments and with a playful and indulgent smirk Tonks changed her hair to reflect every color in the rainbow, her eyes sparkling with mischief.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus was convinced that he was going to be driven mad. _The kind of madness where you taste colors and see flavors; not the Faustian concept of hell, which would at least give me insight to the witch before me sporting rainbow-colored hair._

It was outlandishly... punk, in that glam-punk meets Patti Smith kind of way. Her eyes were twinkling in that unique way that was certain to crack his features and make him smile... until he remembered who had that particular power over him. _She is dead and gone, and it is more than time for you to let her go._ He thought to himself, his eyes darting away from seeing hers.

He was insistent at first to let her have the last word, and now he was compelled to land a parting shot as he went back to his patrol. But he knew he shouldn't do it, not when he considered his last words to her:

"If you ever need someone to help you control your emotions, send me an owl. The basics of Occlumency might be beneficial, along with other types of training."

What was he thinking, offering such an open-ended arrangement? It was like he was trying to make them see more of each other, willfully!

He nodded a terse goodbye and turned to patrol the second floor. Already he was needing to justify his actions to himself; Aurors would do well to be trained in Occlumency. That must have been it, no urge for him to take a chance to peek into her mind and know what she must undoubtedly be thinking of him now. Not after he made an utter fool of himself by being so honest towards her.

The floor seemed empty so far, and he didn't want to just do a quick spell to check to see if the floor was clear. He needed the distraction as he opened each classroom door and peeked into each restroom. Pacing down the length of the corridor helped him not analyze every single way that the word 'training' could be interpreted.

Though she would look good with her wrists bound over her head, stripped down to her skivvies, and her mouth gagged silent. The gag would be paramount. Her incessant questioning would be worse than the two feet of parchment he received from Granger after demanding that all of her questions must be submitted in writing at the end of the class. He thought she was simply taking diligent notes.

The Grey Lady passed him in the hallway, nodding a silent greeting. He pitied her; too scared to move onto the afterlife and instead left an impression of herself here among the living. He wanted to live his life the best he could, and live it to the fullest, and be glad to be done with it all when his time comes.

He recalled the tale behind The Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron, it was a precautionary tale told in the Slytherin Common room for falling in love with those outside your house. He disagreed with the moral of the story, rather he was against any kind of romantic or excessive interpersonal involvement. His mother was beaten till she lost her magic, and the only woman he loved married the bastard that made his life so horrid.

And yet, he just offered Tonks to owl her at anytime. He was without doubt that she'd message him in the middle of the night, ruining his sleep. She probably wouldn't send an owl tonight, so at least he could get some rest when he was done with this duty.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: TPOV

A/N #2: Sorry, I almost missed uploading this chapter! This is the correct chapter 10; there shouldn't be two SPOV's in a row here!

* * *

_Nymphadora._ Her name, accented by Severus' voice ran through Tonks' mind on and off through the rest of the night. She was on rotation to patrol Hogsmeade the next night and wouldn't be back to patrol Hogwarts for two days. As she made her way out of the castle and to the forest to disapparate back to her room for some much needed sleep she was reminded that Remus would need to visit the castle and Snape soon; the moon was only a few days away from full. Before turning in she sent an owl to Remus to see when he would be visiting.

When Tonks awoke in the next day she went to her window, expecting to see her owl with a response from Remus. Instead, all she found was a steady drizzle falling from a grey blanket of clouds. Knowing Remus had been spying on and off as a member of Greyback's pack, she began to wonder if he would be transforming with the pack this moon rather than picking up wolfsbane potion from Snape. _Maybe he won't be coming after all._ Tonks gasped at the sharp bitterness that washed through her at the thought, shaking her head trying to clear it before the thought threatened to become more than it was.

Tonks threw on her cloak and cast _Impervius_ to fight against the damp day and made her way out to the streets of Hogsmeade and eventually Knockturn Alley, keeping her senses open for any signs of suspicious activity. Slipping into Knockturn Alley, Tonks was met with one of the challenges of being an auror, having to distinguish between items that had the potential for being used in the Dark Arts and items that could only be used in the Dark Arts. Those that had the potential were, at this point, still legal to be sold thanks to their other uses. However, the later items were illegal and would need to be confiscated and the shop owner, at the very least, fined. As Tonks entered Borgin and Burkes she sighed. _Is it really too hard to organize everything!?_ She looked around at the items stacked on top of each other, some items containing others, and knew this was going to be a long night.

Shuffling into her room, shrugging off her cloak, Tonks carried a cup of hot tea looking forward to calling it a night. Working through Borgin and Burkes had taken far too long and far too much energy. After all of that she had only found two items that were illegal and two others that were questionable. She had sent all four into the auror's office for further follow-up and was certain there were still things in that shop she had missed. It didn't help that the entire store seemed to radiate darkness. A rapid tapping drew her attention to the window. Her heart leapt as she saw the owl she sent to Remus holding a letter. She rushed over and let it in, giving it a piece of the shortbread that had come with her tea as a token of thanks. She quickly undid the tie around the letter, moving so fast that the letter rolled back up twice before she could hold it stable enough to read it.

_Tonks, _  
_How can you know what I am and still be interested in me? I have spent the last month and a half with others of my kind, under the leadership of the child-eater, Greyback, who changed me. I have seen things people should never see and have had to participate. They have once again taken to going after Voldemort's enemies' children. Children, Tonks! To make it worse, I can't deny that there is a part of me, the part I insist on keeping you safe from, that enjoys it. That part enjoys the hunt, the smell of blood and fear, regardless of what the prey is, WHO the prey is._

_Although I will never let that part of me become all of who I am, if anyone is around me long enough they will one day be in danger of that side of me. It has happened before and can happen again. I have so far been lucky that someone has always been there to save those I put in danger. I would be foolish to believe that that will always be the case. I can't put anyone in that position, especially you. Please stop asking me to._

_-Remus Lupin_

The joy Tonks had felt at the sight of the letter quickly plummeted leaving a pit in her stomach. She read through the relatively short letter three times, each time hoping she had misread, misunderstood. On her fourth time through she was surprised to see the words blurring only to realize the reason as her tears fell, smudging the ink on the now shaking letter held in her hands. Snarling she crumpled up the letter and threw it into a corner of the room. Spinning around she stopped abruptly when confronted with her reflection in the mirror. Normally pink hair had turned a light brown hair; normally dark and twinkling eyes were red and puffy. She tried to concentrate enough to change her hair back and was met with a morose wall mentally blocking her from changing.

By the next day she still had not been able to overcome her inner struggle and successfully change. The more frustrated she became the further off success seemed. She threw on a pair of brown pants and a grey top, trying to make the brown hair and the uncharacteristic lack of color look intentional. Looking in the mirror she sighed as she remembered changing her face to make herself smile just two days ago. Sticking her tongue out at her reflection, she apparated to the perimeter of Hogwarts grounds.

Appearing just as her fellow auror arrived at the forest she conducted the nessisary turn-over, trying to smile at his stories of the events that had taken place during the day. Noticing her disinterest in conversation, her colleague dismissed himself and disapperated. Hearing the crack, Tonks relaxed a bit, no longer having to keep up the polite face. Sighing she looked up, her breath catching when she noticed that the moon was nearly full. Shaking her head she moved toward the castle to complete her rounds, hoping tonight wouldn't be as long as the previous.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: SPOV

A/N #2: Sorry, I mislabeled a chapter! Go back and read the last chapter, there shouldn't be two SPOV's in a row!

* * *

Severus was in his laboratory, lost in thought as he was slicing the aconite for the potion that he wasn't having to make for Lupin this month. It became a second nature to him; as if a part of his ritual.

He was used to being haunted by the memories of his past. Usually he was remembering his vain attempts at apologizing for calling Lily a mudblood. Instead, his mind was reflecting on Albus' latest task for him.

_"You have done very well, Severus. How long do you think I have?"_

In that one sentence, he knew that Albus didn't care that he was going to die. Severus had felt this way for so long, yet it was never a... conversation piece.

And yet, Severus couldn't shake the disgust that he felt when Albus complimented him, considering what his task would be.

_"I am fortunate, extremely fortunate, that I have you, Severus."_

Damn that bastard to Hades, Severus swore as he stored the aconite in an airtight, opaque glass jar. He remembered the next part of the conversation, since it was dictating his slow eventual progression to the gallows.

_"Are you intending to let him kill you?" Severus asked sardonically._

_"Certainly not. You must kill me."_

Severus' pause was out of shock. Only the sound of Albus' phoenix gnawing broke the silence, the odd clicking was almost like a grandfather clock's pendulum swaying to and fro.

_"Would you like me to do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?"_

Severus' sarcasm was his only outlet for his rage, and Albus smiled at the dark humor between the two. _How can he ask this of me?_

But Albus made his point; he was slowly dying and still was able to joke about the Chudley Cannons. He was right, a quick and painless death would be better than... Bellatrix's penchant for vorarephilia. She was the reason that The Dark Lord's followers were called 'Death Eaters', after she impressed him at their earliest Dark Revels.

He stared at the half-completed potion in the cauldron, his stirring rod clanking as the momentum of the potion dragged it clockwise. The fumes never bothered him, and yet it must be what was making his eyes water.

Severus was lost in the moment, knowing how everyone he was... colleagues with... would ultimately loathe and wish to kill him. That his honor and standing within the Wizarding world were to be sacrificed on the altar of 'the greater good'.

He had forgotten about the time as he remained in his laboratory, sullenly pitying himself since nobody alive would soon understand why he would betray the Order of the Phoenix.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks started her patrol on the upper levels again, hoping that Snape would stick to the route he had so flippantly assigned the previous night. She knew she was trying to avoid him; hell she had been trying to avoid everyone. Even as the portraits gazed out of the wall at her, following her determined stride down the hallways, she felt like every look was one of pity, reading her like a book. She turned and glared at one of the portraits holding her wand up. The occupants winced at the bright light, shielding their eyes.

"Young lady, kindly point your wand somewhere else. We are trying to sleep!" A grey haired wizard wearing a nightcap scolded from within the frame. Tonks lowered her wand, immediately regretting trying to confront the portrait to begin with. People were supposed to feel comfortable in their own skin, she never had. She knew she used her talent for change as a defense mechanism and she was perfectly fine with that; she wanted it back and she wanted it back now.

_"If you ever need someone to help you control your emotions, send me an owl. The basics of Occlumency might be beneficial, along with other types of training."_

Snape's offer ran through her head. She hated asking for help, but right now that exact lack of control he had mentioned was driving her crazy. She had never had this problem before. Sure her hair had the tendency to turn vibrant color if she experienced a wave of intense emotion, the most common being red when she was furious, but she had never lost her ability. It had faltered once or twice, especially when she was younger and just learning all that she could do. However, lately it was flickering on and off and now had gone out completely. She not only needed it back for herself, but for her job. She had passed Concealment and Disguise during auror training _because_ of being a metamorphmagus. Unlike many of her colleagues, she really didn't know how to do either of those without changing.

After paying close attention to the Restricted Section of the library, Tonks completed her patrol of the fourth floor. Swallowing her pride she made her way down the third floor corridors to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to check for Snape before venturing down into the dungeons to see if he was in his office. At the least it would save her a trip; at the most it would delay the inevitable that much longer.

Glancing into the deserted classroom, it quickly became apparent that only "living" things in the room were the shrunken heads, blinking sleepily at her. Closing the door quietly she made her way down to the dungeons, taking a left towards the Slytherin common rooms where she and her friends had so often taken a right toward the Hufflepuff common rooms just seven years prior. Looking around she was amazed at the difference. The stone enshrouded hallways seemed dark and cold compared to the warm and inviting presence of the halls leading toward Hufflepuff. Tonks rolled her eyes. _Slytherins. Always a flare for the dramatic._

Reaching the doorway to Snape's office, Tonks paused her hand freezing as it reached for the door. _What in Merlin's name am I doing!_? Just as her nerve crumbled, a lock of hair fell into her eyes. Even in the dimly lit dungeon she could see her equally dimly colored hair. Taking a deep breath she knocked on the door, silently hoping he wouldn't answer and she could just send him an owl later, if she got around to it. _When. When I get around to it._ She scolded herself.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: SPOV

* * *

The knock stirred him from his cogitation, and he turned his eyes to the pocket watch on his pants. _Bugger, I lost track of time,_ he thought quickly as he vanished the now-ruined contents of his cauldron and paced to his door. His personal lab was attached to his office, which had remained in the dungeons even though he was now teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.

As he reached for the door, he knew it would be Tonks, since he was late for his patrol tonight. She was probably going to say something about it, so he took a deep breath and made his face appear blank. He wiped his eyes clear of the threatening tears to fall, and pulled the door open.

Nymphadora Tonks was standing there, but not prepared with a snarky response that he was expecting for not being at his post on time. He was too long used to the backhanded compliments and sarcastic remarks that he would parry against Lucius. She looked nearly disheveled in her plain brown hair, a bit of it hanging over her eye. It would have been melodramatic if not for the look in her eyes.

Something broke within him. No need to sneer, no cruel retort, no dark sarcasm that he saved for the classroom.

He was in his standard dark robes, but also had on a pair of dragon-hide gloves for the poisonous plant he was cutting earlier. He slipped them off, tossed them aside, and was compelled to help her.

_Something is wrong with her, truly wrong with her, and I need to do whatever I can to salvage her true self._ He thought to himself as he put his hand upon her arm, just above her elbow, and guided her into his office. Flicking his wand, he banished his gloves back to his lab, closed the door, and raised the lights to something resembling normal. The fair Hufflepuff was probably not used to the dungeon-like lighting, and he summoned his bottle of firewhiskey and two glasses for them, sitting at his desk and shifting the stack of papers that he was supposed to be grading. He was sorely tempted to give them all 'Acceptable' ratings and let the overachieving students whinge over his unfairness.

"Nymphadora, you appear to have something on your mind. Your hair would be that insufferable yet characteristic shade of bubble-gum pink if you didn't. If you wish to have something to drink, please pour for both of us." He considered her, and realized that if anything would loosen her tongue, it would be this. Even if she couldn't speak up about what's on her mind, the amount that she poured would be indicative.

Of course, Severus had an inkling of what was on her mind. Remus was having to 'live among his kind', yet it was obvious that he wanted to live in the cities and hold a respectable job. It would be out of some sort of Gryffindor inanity that would make him tell her that he wasn't worthy of being with this witch that was seated at the other side of his desk. Such men who try to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of their partner are nothing but foolish, for both will suffer for no good reason. Yet he did that for Lily; he gave up on her when she gave up on him.

As the silence lingered between the two, Severus measured his words carefully before speaking. She was as swamped in her thoughts as he was before. He needed to be kind, yet firm in order to pull her out of her emotional state.

"I will not use Legilimency against you, Nymphadora. But you are in need to relieve yourself of whatever burden that has befallen you. So, what did Remus do?"


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: TPOV

* * *

_Please don't be here, please don't be here…_the door began to open…_bollocks._ Tonks hands closed into fists as she fought the urge to make some weak excuse and retreat as fast as possible. Glancing up, she was greeted by the unnervingly blank face of Severus Snape. Somehow that blankness, that complete lack of gut-wrenching pity, was exactly what she needed right now.

As his hand closed around her arm, she lost all urge to make an escape and allowed herself to be led through his office to his desk.

"Nymphadora, you appear to have something on your mind. Your hair would be that insufferable yet characteristic shade of bubble-gum pink if you didn't. If you wish to have something to drink, please pour for both of us."

She couldn't help the wince that graced her features as he mentioned her typical hair color. She sat there knowing her silence was wasting both of their time. Thousands of lines ran through her head. _This had seemed so simple. Just come in, ask for help, get fixed and leave._ Looking down at her hands she began to realize that even something as simple as conversation was going to be torturous. Somehow putting it all into words, saying it out loud, made it all too real.

"I will not use Legilimency against you, Nymphadora. But you are in need to relieve yourself of whatever burden that has befallen you. So, what did Remus do?"

Her head snapped up. Her mouth opened, then closed. Tonks reached for the bottle of firewhiskey as if it were some type of lifeline that would answer for her. Picking up one of the glasses she poured herself a healthy three fingers before looking to Severus. Inclining his head he motioned toward the glass. Tonks poured the whiskey until he signaled for her to stop. She noted the difference in the levels of the two glasses and couldn't help the brief bitter smile as she looked at her glass and brought it up to her lips. The burning liquid entered her mouth; she swallowed allowing the burn to help clear the clutter in her head that was keeping her from answering. Tonks took one more gulp that she hoped was disguised as a sip before she could even consider answering. Avoiding Severus' question she got right to what she felt was the heart of the problem.

"I can't change." She had wanted her voice to come out factual, instead it was barely more than a whisper. Severus raised an eyebrow, inviting her to continue. "I…I haven't been able to since yesterday. I've tried and tried. Nothing! Nothing except this!" She motioned to her naturally brown hair. Realizing how loud and uncharacteristically high her voice had gotten she went for another pull from her drink. "You said you could help me control it. Does that mean you can bring it back? I need it back."

She was once again getting that odd blurring in her eyes. She shook her head, blinking fast. _I don't cry dammit!_ She couldn't look at Severus right now. This was the most vulnerable she had ever felt and she was terrified that if she looked up she would either see the same pity she had felt following her all evening or that he would say there was nothing he could do. She didn't think she could bear either outcome. Merlin help her if it was both.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus sipped from his meager shot of fire-whiskey, finding the burn a bit soothing on its way down. He knew how the Gryffindor would have tried to let her live a better life without him, and that could be what's making her emotional state affect her magical abilities.

"I can't change." Her voice was the barest whisper, as if she was unwilling to admit to it.

Severus raised an eyebrow at that, his silent way of challenging her story. _She's going to avoid the issue with Lupin, it seems._

"I…I haven't been able to since yesterday. I've tried and tried. Nothing! Nothing except this!" Her hand flailed, perhaps in a gesture towards her now-brown hair. It was unremarkable, and looked like it could be her natural color. Attempting to calm herself, she took another sip of her drink.

"You said you could help me control it. Does that mean you can bring it back? I need it back."

Severus looked over her imperiously. "It can be possible, but your abilities can be tied to your emotional state. There are reports of witches and wizards losing their magic after a traumatic experience." _I also happen to know that I got Minerva to transform into her cat form every time she sneezed for a week._ He mused darkly, remembering what it was like to see a cat's face look so cross.

He summoned a vial of Calming Draught and handed it to her. "Take this Calming Draught, and go ahead and close your eyes." As she did, his lips twitched, threatening to smile. "Good girl." He whispered softly, as he took a deep breath and paced around her. He was going to let the pitch and resonance of his voice do most of the work here to help her.

"I want you to relax, and to picture yourself within your mind's eye. Don't worry about the details of yourself just yet, focus on the room surrounding you within your mind.

"Let it be blank; allow yourself to be in this room that is quiet and peaceful. Breathe in slowly through your nose, barely hold it, and let it out through your mouth. Repeat this pattern until you feel very calm." As he stood behind her, he put away his wand and placed his hands on top of her shoulders. Surprisingly, she didn't flinch or pull out of his grasp. He began to massage her shoulders, finding that her trapezius muscle was taut and inflexible. She was storing a lot of her stress there, it seemed.

"Now, allow yourself to remember this place of solitude, where you can be completely relaxed. You are in complete control here, and this is your first level of defense against Legilimency. There is nothing here; your mind is clear, and nothing is bothering you while you are in this comfortable area."

As his fingers and thumbs worked to loosen her muscle, his body had reacted to the closeness that he had with her. Pushing the thought aside, he focused at the task at hand. He'd deal with that later, if necessary..

"Now, in this room that you're in, allow yourself to imagine your stressors in your life. Visualize them however you must, but we will be doing an exercise in how to put them away. Perhaps it's a dossier and all you have to do if file it into a lockable cabinet. Maybe you see it as a Dark Artifact that gets locked up in a Ministry Vault. I've enjoyed visualizing them as a stack of papers that I can simply toss into a burning waste bin.

"The point of this exercise is to realize that you must manage your emotions and the events which trigger them. The only obstacle that you are facing is yourself, and you are not one to bow to any enemy. So don't lose now, not against your own fears and insecurities. You can conquer this, Nymphadora. Do you understand me?"

As he asked, her face was relaxed as if near sleep. She may not have been sleeping well, either. As his hands worked on her shoulders, he was trying to ask himself why he was doing this for her. Why was he working so hard to make a friendship that was doomed to fail within months?


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: TPOV

* * *

"It can be possible, but your abilities can be tied to your emotional state. There are reports of witches and wizards losing their magic after a traumatic experience."

Tonks released a breath she hadn't quite realized she had been holding. _He didn't say no. He didn't say no._ She knew of witches and wizards that had lost their magic all together after traumatic events, but she still had her magic. She just couldn't change. She sincerely hoped that was a good sign.

"Take this Calming Draught, and go ahead and close your eyes."

Tonks reached for the offered draught, gently accepting the small glass vial, focusing on it in an effort to keep her hands from shaking. She swallowed the liquid, the taste reminding her of chamomile and peppermint tea. On its way down, a warming sensation spread through her, quite unlike the burning caused by the whiskey. This was the type of warmth that came from sunny days or cold nights spent cuddled up next to a fire. Her eyes closed peacefully, whether in response to Severus' order or in an effort to savor the new found calm she wasn't quite sure.

"I want you to relax, and to picture yourself within your mind's eye. Don't worry about the details of yourself just yet, focus on the room surrounding you within your mind. Let it be blank; allow yourself to be in this room that is quiet and peaceful. Breathe in slowly through your nose, barely hold it, and let it out through your mouth. Repeat this pattern until you feel very calm."

Tonks did as he said, the image of her childhood room filling her head, perfected by the sun streaming in through the windows, the blue sky pockmarked by white fluffy clouds that could be seen outside, and the smell of freshly baked treacle tart wafting up from the kitchen. She followed Severus' instructions, the deep baritone keeping her centered and grounded. She could almost smell her mother's baking as she breathed in through her nose and taste it as the breath left her mouth, her lips parting gently to maintain the rhythm. Distantly she felt a light pressure on her shoulders. _His hands..._she realized as he began to knead the tight and sore muscles. The warmth from his hands added to that initiated by the draught; the firm pressure he applied pulled her under further with each knot he loosened.

As he told her to imagine the stressors in her life, she panicked briefly, feeling as if the pristine sky in her self-made sanctuary would soon darken completely. She tensed and in response felt Severus' hands tighten slightly on her shoulders, his pressure increasing a fraction, reminding her that she wasn't alone. _I can do this._ Tonks refocused on her breathing, slowing it down to its previous pace, forcing the dark clouds to come in one at a time. From her room she was safe, the clouds could come and as long as she let them form one at a time they wouldn't darken her room. She could watch them from her windows, safe from whatever rain they might bring. Out on the edge of the horizon she could see the storm clouds piling up _…keeping Harry and the rest of Hogwarts safe; she missed Sirius, especially where Harry was concerned; her report for the Order of the Phoenix had to be sent to Mad-eye by the end of the month; here it was early fall and her parents already wanted to know if she would be visiting for the holidays, if she would be bringing anyone with her, she had wanted to bring Remus…Remus…_ with that last thought a rumbling of thunder echoed from the horizon and the clouds seemed to darken. Tonks refocused on her breath, keeping the clouds distant.

"…You can conquer this, Nymphadora. Do you understand me?"

Severus' voice seemed to echo off the light pink walls of her room. Within her mind she was nodding, her inner-self a mix of the impish little girl that used to drive her parents ragged and the now battle ready auror who fought alongside the likes of Alastor Moody. Along with that mix came the knowledge of what she needed to do and the urge to hide under her bed until it all went away. She missed the times when the boogiemen were all make believe and could be scared away by something as simple as her dad looking under her bed and in her closet before she went to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: SPOV

* * *

"You are a powerful witch who is dealing with self-doubt. Your strength and your conviction will be much stronger than this. Take all of those problems you see and file them away. Restore your calm room to how it first appeared. Clear your mind of all this."

Severus' head was right above hers, willing his own force of will to assist hers in this. Her scent hit his senses, and he let his hands gently ran down to cup her shoulders reassuringly.

"You've proven your strength and your conviction at the Department of Mysteries last June. Lucius remains in prison even now in part to your heroism.

"So banish those thoughts that have been plaguing you. Don't let them have that power over you anymore. I am here with you, and there is nothing that can defeat us if we put in a little hard work." He hoped that citing her house's tenacities would help her.

"Now clear your mind of all that rubbish, hold onto whatever you find dear in there, and make your hair that insufferable shade of pink that I've grown accustomed to seeing on you."


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks concentrated on the dark clouds, letting the smaller ones come in first. Her forehead wrinkled slightly in concentration as she forced these smaller clouds to dissipate, formulating plans for the things she could manage, writing her report this weekend and sending an owl to her parents saying she would be coming, but as of right now coming alone. Then came the things she couldn't change, the things there were no easy solutions for, the thunder rolling menacingly as they approached. Tonks held on tightly to the aspects of her room that made her happy, that would allow her to confront this inner darkness. She knew she would protect Harry with her life and decided that should he keep with his longing to be an auror she would be there for him like Moody had been there for her. That left Remus.

_I can't put anyone in that position, especially you. Please stop asking me to._

His written plea rumbled through her mind in tune with the thunder. She took an even deeper breath than usual to stabilize herself. _Enough! I can't do this anymore. I can't keep asking. If he wants me to stop, I will. It's up to him now._ The final cloud evaporated entirely and with it the chains that seemed to be wrapped around her heart, tight and cutting, broke. The relief that rushed through her was enough to draw two small tears, one from each eye down her cheeks.

Her eyes fluttered open, almost surprised to find herself still within Severus' office.

"Very well done Nymphadora." Severus' deep voice rumbled near her ear as he held up a lock of her now bright pink hair for her to see.

Tonks couldn't help the huge smile that spread across her features. _It worked!_

"It worked!" Tonks shouted with glee, jumping out of her seat spinning around to look at Severus. "Thank you!" She threw her arms around him, freezing and blushing profusely the moment she realized what she had done.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus froze as her arms wrapped around him, and he felt a track of wetness from a tear rolling down her cheek. He hadn't been embraced like this in over a decade, and his own eyes threatened to tear up.

As she realized where she was and froze in place with her arms around him, he returned by putting his arms around her, ever so slowly and gently. After a moment, he tightened his embrace around her and savored the moment.

"You are most welcome, Nymphadora." He replied noncommittally, considering the oddly intimate position that they were in.

He released her, and turned his face in order to look at hers. The hair was pink as always, and her smile was bright and beaming as ever. Severus allowed the barest smile grace his own lips, and he knew it could even be seen through his eyes.

Her eyes were a light honey, a shade that was unusual for him to find so stunning. Yet his eyes seemed caught in hers, and he realized that this was much worse than the hug. He was too close, too intimate, and he couldn't bring himself to cease eye contact with her.

Her nose was too close to his, and he took a deep breath to try and recenter himself. It wasn't until he realized how close and inviting her lips seemed to be that he had to close his eyes and pressed his lips shut in order to close all of himself off from her.

_Merlin, you're crushing over her like a common schoolboy!_ He chided to himself, knowing that she and Lupin were in some sort of relationship. Even if it was dysfunctional, he was not about to pull a 'Sirius Black', as it was called when he was a sixth-year. Sirius was notorious for wooing girls who were known to be dating another guy at school, as if it was his own way of showing dominance over the other men.

Severus had his own idea of how to exude Dominance. He had been tutored by fellow Slytherins, and eventually mentored by Lucius before the Wizarding War broke out.

_I could just tug on her hair, hear her gasp in surprise and arousal, raising her chin for a kiss her and then gauge how much she wants me._ His mind supplied wantonly as his throat gulped loudly.

Severus lowered his face and opened his eyes finally, focusing on her black boots. "I believe that will be all for this evening, Nymphadora." He didn't want to make her leave, but he also knew that he couldn't let her stay either.

So, he was frozen in place just like she was earlier, except now they were no longer touching._ Salazar's Snake, please let her just leave without further incident._ He scolded himself, waiting for her response.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks couldn't help the surprise she felt when, instead of immediately shoving her away or at the least pealing her off him, Severus wrapped his arms around her. Her smile broadened when his arms tightened, holding her close.

"You are most welcome, Nymphadora."

She felt, more than heard his voice as it rumbled through his chest, before he pulled away to look down at her. She beamed up at him, her eyes sparkling as she saw the slight smile grace his lips and eyes. It occurred to her that she had never seen him smile before. Smirk? Yes. Sneer? Almost always. Smile? This was a first. As foreign as it looked, she liked it. _He really should smile more often._ She mused.

She could tell when he pulled away emotionally, reestablishing the distance and barriers he always seemed to have in place. She envied his control, knowing there were times she should exercise more of it. However, she immediately missed the man she had seen a glimpse of just moments ago. That was someone she would like to know more, someone far more complex than the stoic and snarky professor she was so used to interacting with.

"I believe that will be all for this evening, Nymphadora."

She couldn't help the slight let down at the abrupt dismissal. She looked up into his eyes, trying to read his features and was once again hit with the realization of how much of a mystery he seemed. She began to wonder if anyone knew the true Severus Snape. _What I wouldn't give to be able to know what he is thinking right now._ As that thought ran through her mind she remembered the extent of his previous offer.

"The other day you said you would be willing to teach me the basics of Occlumency along with other types of training you thought might be beneficial, I can see now how useful such things might be and was wondering if the offer still stood?" She asked after clearing her throat slightly, having no way of knowing how naive her question actually was.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus had hoped that she would simply go away, not put herself further into his mercy.

"Occlumency can be achieved using the same principles that I had shown you; it requires a clear mind that has organized and filed away your memories and other stressors out from your visible reach. However, you would need to practice with someone performing Legilimency and attempting to breach your mind as you parried their attacks or gave up half-truths in order to convince them of achieving what would essentially be a false victory."

He stepped into her now, his lips nearly brushing her ear. _Perhaps I can scare her off from that offer I made with a brutal half-truth._ He thought as he summoned all of his courage and imposed himself upon her.

"As for the other types of training, Nymphadora, I sincerely suggest that you not pursue that avenue with me. It was a most prurient offer that I should have never made to you."

He let his fingers slip through her hair ever so lightly, but clamped down as his cheek was grazing hers, pulling her head back enough to hear her gasp in surprise.

"I am a man who has learned how to mix pleasure and pain to become something that most people never get to experience, and it would be a shame to whet your desire for something so dark only to leave you feeling so unfulfilled with mundane lovers." As he said this to her, his lips were millimeters from grazing hers, and the only restraint he had from forcing his lips upon hers was the growing arousal in his pants, threatening to be noticed by her if he remained this close to her.

He let go and backed off to a suitable distance from her. His mind seemed more clear now, though his body ached for the closeness that it had recently enjoyed. "And as much as I might enjoy having you collared and at my feet, begging for me to give you sexual release, I doubt that Remus would approve of such an... unconventional arrangement."

Severus needed to get out of the room. _Bugger, I need to get out of the bloody castle._ As he slammed his door open and left his office, he didn't care that he had left her in his personal quarters, inside all of the defensive and privacy charms that he had normally kept up to dissuade a wandering eye.

_Perhaps if she sees my toy drawer, then she will run away and not seek to speak to me at all whatsoever._ He thought darkly, considering his collection of flogs, whips, blindfolds, and restraints.

Severus left the castle and marched towards the lake, only stopping until he reached the tree that was the center of his own mental visualization of a calming place. _Let her see and understand the worst of me, he said as a profane prayer, so I don't have to deal with her anymore._


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: TPOV

A/N #2: Now the story is going to get a LOT better. And more interesting. Please feel free to review, you're getting 10 chapters every week until Christmas!

* * *

Tonks listened intently as Severus described Occlumency and what needed to be done. Looking into his eyes as he spoke, she hadn't realized until he leaned in, his breath and words caressing her ear, how close he had become.

"As for the other types of training, Nymphadora, I sincerely suggest that you not pursue that avenue with me. It was a most prurient offer that I should have never made to you."

Her brow creased in confusion; he still hadn't stated what types of training he hadn't meant to offer. She felt his light touch as his hand traveled through her hair._What is he…Aaah!_ A sharp pain went through her as his hand fisted in her hair, pulling it back sharply. That pain conjured a wave of conflicting emotions within the young witch. She wanted to fight and push him away. She wanted to flee and never return. But as her head was pulled back, she became caught in his intense gaze, bare inches from her own. Her mind filled with the image of a young bird, stunned and caught within the gaze of a snake. She fully understood the threat in becoming that bird, but as his lips continued to move and his words registered, she couldn't help but become even more hypnotized.

"I am a man who has learned how to mix pleasure and pain to become something that most people never get to experience, and it would be a shame to whet your desire for something so dark only to leave you feeling so unfulfilled with mundane lovers."

It wasn't until he let go and backed up slightly that she felt she could truly breathe, realizing her breath was now coming in small short pants. The spell had broken only a fraction with the added distance and Tonks really couldn't decide if she mourned the loss or was thankful for it.

"And as much as I might enjoy having you collared and at my feet, begging for me to give you sexual release, I doubt that Remus would approve of such an... unconventional arrangement."

Her eyes widened again, almost as much as they had when he had pulled her hair. The image from the other day of her in a collar went racing, unwelcomed, through her mind. At the mention of Remus, Tonks wanted to protest, wanted to shout that, as of earlier this evening, she didn't give a blast-ended skrewts arse what Remus would or would not approve of. However, she found that her mouth had gone completely dry. Her tongue darted out of her mouth trying to recover her voice.

Before she could say anything, in a rush of black billowing robes, Severus disappeared out the door. The bang of the solid wood door making contact with the stone was enough to snap Tonks back into reality as she spun around in time to see the last of him retreat around the corner. _What the hell was that!? And why do I find myself asking that every time he is around!?_ Everything she had been through and accomplished in the last few days washed through her forcing her to take a step back, leaning up against Severus' desk for support. Noticing the glass of firewhiskey at her side she picked it up and took another sip, feeling like she needed it now as much, if not more than she needed it earlier.

_I doubt that Remus would approve of such an... unconventional arrangement… I am a man who has learned how to mix pleasure and pain to become something that most people never get to experience… it would be a shame to whet your desire for something so dark… I doubt that Remus would approve._ Severus' voice played on loop through her mind as she tried to sort it all out. She stared out the door that he had so abruptly retreated through. She knew she should do the same, that any sane person would do the same. However, along with Severus' voice mixed the words from Remus' letter and their previous arguments, all variations of the same line "I am too dark and dangerous for you." Tonks' lips thinned into a sharp line. Remus said she couldn't handle dark and dangerous and Severus had all but dared her to try. _Can't handle dark and dangerous, can't I? Watch me!_

At that precise moment all she cared about was proving them both wrong. She was one of the youngest aurors in history, typically chose looks for their ability to stand apart in a crowd, and had not been made a prefect while at school due to her inability to behave. What about her told anyone that she wanted a life of safe, secure and boring she had no idea.

Even as part of her dug in her heels, determined to wait for Severus to return, refusing to be scared off so easily, the rest of her mind countered with the images and acts he suggested…pain and pleasure, her wearing a collar, her at his feet, begging for release. She finished the whiskey, steeling her nerves. Crossing her arms over her chest as the amber liquid burned its way down her throat, she silently watched the door. After what was likely only ten minutes of waiting and a thousand rounds of second guessing, she couldn't take being still any longer. She began looking around the room, walking carefully and refusing to touch anything, terrified she would trip, slip or otherwise end up breaking something. Numerous antique scales and calipers that had long since been retired from use littered the shelves accompanying various items, most of which she didn't want to identify, in glass bell jars. Tonks paused at a large bookshelf, remembering a friend of hers from Ravenclaw making the off-handed comment that one could tell so much about a person from what was on their personal bookshelf.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus was sitting by the lake, shocked at what he had done to Nymphadora. He wasn't one to lose control, nor was he one to simply invite his services onto someone who wasn't already a part of the community or at least interested in BDSM.

Instead, he found himself drawn to her, and admittedly aroused by her. _But she's trying to date that pillock, Lupin._

He took stock of himself, and the situation. _I ran away like a coward, missed my starting time for patrolling, and now I'm hiding out by the bloody lake like I used to as a schoolboy._

He got up, understanding his need to do his duties and to face Nymphadora as he should. The grounds to Hogwarts, of course, was clear. So he went back inside to patrol the corridors as he was supposed to do.

_She probably already ran off, warning Albus and the entire bloody Order that I'm some ruddy Libertine._

The ground floor was blessedly devoid of students, so he expected to find everything in order as he went downstairs. His door was still left wide open, and he cursed at himself, thinking that Nymphadora would have been at least kind (or, in this case, furious) enough to have slammed his door shut when she left.

What he was not expecting, however, was to see her making herself comfortable in his leather-clad sofa seat, perusing through his books. She was too engrossed in whatever she was reading to have noticed his entering.

He cleared his throat, loudly and with every intent to get her attention. As she was startled out of her reading, she moved the book upward just enough for Severus to recognize the title.

_Why in Merlin's name did it have to be_ that _book?_

"Enjoying yourself, Tonks?" He drawled out, spitting out her last name like it was disgusting.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Looking down the titles she saw a lot of what one would expect to see:_Quantitative Potion Analysis, Organic Potion Brewing, Handbook of Medicinal Herbs, A Practical Guide to Runes, Tales of Beedle the Bard_, and two worn and well referenced Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions textbooks. The next shelf held titles such as _Irish Inspirations: Tales from Gaelic Folklore_ and_Contemporary Sociological Theory_. _Special interests of his?_ Tonks wondered as her hands trailed over the spines of each of the books. She couldn't help but imagine what the Gaelic folklore would sound like spoken by him. The ancient tales brought to life with his deep and resonating voice.

Continuing along the shelf her fingers froze on a blue spine, _Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism_. Her fingers trembled as she pulled the book from the shelf. As a Hufflepuf, Tonks knew all about hard work, but as an auror she preferred her hard work to be active rather than passive. However, she also knew the value of learning everything one could about an enemy. Did she consider Severus an enemy? No, but he certainly was a challenge, one that she had no intention of losing. Opening the book and reading from the start, she moved as if in a trance to the sitting area located next to the bookshelf. Choosing a large black leather armchair she sat down, curling her legs under herself, eyes darting along the pages. As she read, she couldn't help but relate the various lessons and instructions to her and Severus, wondering if he would follow them, wondering if she could.

She was deep within the book, smiling at the light-hearted presentation, finding herself more and more at ease with the concepts presented. She had read about the communication required, the trust that was necessary, the fulfilling exchange of control and found that while her anxiety and excitement remained, the foreboding pit in her stomach had dulled to an almost forgettable twinge. The sound of someone clearing their throat snapped her head up as she simultaneously snapped the book closed, her cheeks darkening in a deep blush. The blush deepened in a way she hadn't realized possible when she realized that it was Severus who was standing there. Her goal had origionally been to wait until he returned, now she almost wanted him to leave again so that she could read some more…or at least put the book back before she was caught.

"Enjoying yourself, Tonks?"

She winced, surprised at how much it hurt to hear him use the name she had tried so long to get him to use in the first place. Looking down she realized that not only was she comfortably curled up in _his_ chair, but she still held _his_ book. She jumped up, intending to put the book back and try to get in a more dignified position. As she rushed to get out of the chair, her legs tangled under her. She held the book close in her right hand, protecting it, as she tried to brace herself with her left. As her left hand scraped against the stone floor, her knees impacting shortly after, she gritted her teeth against the pain. She didn't know which hurt more, her bruised hands and knees or her bruised pride. On her knees in front of Severus, she was as far from the firm, dignified, _I can handle anything you can dish out_ stance that she had intended when she had first chosen to wait him out.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus had meant to shock her, strike fear in her, but not to have her crash on the floor like this. It would have been funny, except that he remembered how it was for him as a child and wouldn't want to cycle that type of verbal abuse over sheer clumsiness.

And yet, he saw her there, kneeling almost as he had imagined. If he pursued this, it wouldn't be without bumps in the proverbial road. _But isn't that what makes this all the more challenging?_

He went over to his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment, tapping it with his wand.

"This is, admittedly, an exhaustive checklist of various activities that may occur between what may be termed a Dominant and their submissive. Of course, there are other terms and roles available, but current politics make even the title of 'Master' quite distasteful to me. As for a Top/bottom dynamic, you will find me a bit too exacting and..." he ran his fingers underneath her jaw, forcing eye contact with her, "possessive..."

He let the word hang between them. He couldn't allow himself to finish that sentence, not when she would have to decide where they would stand with each other. And he would want to know how she will deal with Lupin. _There are many witches and wizards active in the community who participate with partners outside of their marriage._ He scolded himself. _And it's not like he's rushing off to marry her anyways._

He returned his attention to the witch still on the ground.

"The first lesson you will learn is how to properly kneel for your Dominant. Hereditary knee problems aside, this should not hurt when done properly. With your knees at a shoulder's width apart, your back straight and arms clasped together behind your back, and your head lowered slightly in a deferential fashion, you will be in the proper kneeling position." He gently pulled his book aside and placed the parchment on top of it.

"Please assume that position now." He remembered doing this in the past, and being told how the mere act of holding the position for another was an erotically enticing thing. He too felt a type of stirring within him when he had a submissive kneel for him like this. And it was no different this time. He walked around her, his eyes taking in her toned muscles and lithe frame. _The clumsy auror can indeed clean up well, like an emerald in the rough._

"Good girl." He complimented her sweetly, summoning the book and parchment from the floor.

"And now for your homework," he said, smirking in a flirtatious manner. "You may borrow my book, but camouflage the cover in case others come across you reading it. And please fill out the worksheet as well. If you have any questions concerning this list, you may owl me."

Severus thought about his own list of limitations, and how he hasn't updated it in years. Perhaps it's time for him to look at that again and see if he's changed much.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks sat up on her heels, rubbing her left hand on her pants and massaging her knees. Out of the corner of her eyes she watched as Severus approached his desk and took out parchment. Her eyebrows rose as he described the list and walked it over to her, his boots clipping sharply on the stone floor. Her eyes traveled up his looming form as he approached. He bent over slightly, placing his fingers under her chin, her honey brown eyes focusing on his dark, intense gaze.

"… As for a Top/bottom dynamic, you will find me a bit too exacting and...possessive." She shivered, whether from his touch, his words, or that look, she wasn't quite sure. "The first lesson you will learn is how to properly kneel for your Dominant…"

Tonks' eyes again snapped up to his. _My Dominant._ She mused before forcing herself to focus on what he was saying. She tried to force her face to appear serious, for all that she was used to changing her features, keeping the excited if not a bit triumphant smile off her face was proving a challenge on its own. He gently took the book she still had protectively clutched in her right hand and set it aside along with the papers as he ordered her to kneel properly. She moved her knees to be a bit wider and straightened her back, trying to look confident despite the awkwardness she felt. She moved her arms behind her back, noting how the movement arched her back slightly and forced her chest out. She bowed her head, a smirk playing at her lips even as a light blush accented her cheeks. She couldn't remember a time when she felt so self-conscious, yet so sexy.

"Good girl."

Tonks couldn't deny the warmth that spread through her at the praise, a broad smile brightening her face. As he mentioned homework her smile faltered, glancing over her shoulder at him for a hint of what he would have her do.

"You may borrow my book, but camouflage the cover in case others come across you reading it. And please fill out the worksheet as well. If you have any questions concerning this list, you may owl me."

She nodded. Her gaze shifted down to the book and paper, her smile returning as she realized she did in fact get more time with the book. Trying to crane her neck in a way that she hoped wouldn't be noticeable, she attempted to make out items that were on the list.  
"That will be all for tonight, Nymphadora. You may stand and pick up the book and parchment. That should allow you to look at them properly."

Her head snapped forward, her fists clenching at being caught. She smiled sheepishly and reached for the stack of parchment and the book, again hugging them close as she pulled herself to her feet. Turning to face Severus, she noticed the time, for all that had occurred since the beginning of the night she was shocked to see how much time had passed; the auror for the day patrol would be showing up shortly expecting her for turnover.

"Ah…thank you…" She held up book, waving it slightly. "…I should be…ah…going…I would say goodnight, but its morning…" She smiled broadly to keep herself from continuing to babbling. Severus arched an eyebrow questioningly at her. "Right…" She pointed over her shoulder at the door to the hall, "I'll send an owl should I have any questions," she tapped the list before turning on her heal and heading for the door.

Reaching the door she glanced back, Severus had already returned to his desk once again shuffling the papers she assumed still needed to be graded. She quickly ducked out the door, casting an illusionment charm on the list and book. Berating herself for her less than eloquent exit she made her way to the edge of the forest to meet her duty replacement. Botched exit or not, she couldn't deny her elevated mood and pink hair, neither of which had existed when she had first arrived. She longed to get back to her room as fast as possible to start her homework.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus was amused at her straining to look at the list while she was still kneeling. _Such curiousity. I'll have to teach her the muggle expression sometime._

"That will be all for tonight, Nymphadora. You may stand and pick up the book and parchment. That should allow you to look at them properly." Maybe she thought he didn't see her? She picked up the book and the parchment, and was trying to say goodbye.

"…I should be…ah…going…I would say goodnight, but its morning…" _I'm going to have to devise some sort of ritual for her so she can turn this on and off._ Severus decided to get back to looking at the stack of documents he had always kept locked in his desk, one that hadn't been unlocked in almost a decade.

Severus looked over his checklist in a new light. It was like a man who was dying of thirst was promised an oasis. Everything looked intriguing, as if he was able to do anything on the list just for the opportunity to... well, definitely not bestiality... and he remembered the conversation he had with _his_ first submissive that he worked with:

_"Ugh, Severus, who would find it appealing to... fornicate with animals?" She had said. Of course, Severus was oath-bound to not reveal Lupin's secret, even after it had almost killed him. "It was designed so that you don't have any surprises later on; look at how many different ways I could beat you. Canes, floggers, hairbrush, hand, paddle, and whips... that doesn't even go into the possible locations." He smiled as he looked at the top of her list. "Now, Sir, I thought I got to fill this out without being hassled." She flirted, leaning over and smiling in that particular way that got her mouth captured in their almost ritualized way of kissing._

The memory of her soft lips were like a bittersweet balm as he kept going down his own list. He was no longer a fan of biting or branding his body in any way, but still enjoyed blindfolds. Bondage and clothespins were still the same, just like the use of collars and leashes. It was more about possession rather than pet play for him.

Some of the things on his list, however, had utterly changed. Since becoming a Death Eater, he lost his appeal in knife play, blood play, simulated gang rape, and giving someone away. What was once a fetish became all too real when The Dark Lord peered into his mind and had given him the 'present'.

What he didn't want to look at was the list that was under his own. Or the rescinded contract that was beneath it. He should have destroyed it, along with the broken collar. It was a reminder of his own failing, and he used it when he thought he could move on in 1983. The drawer hadn't been opened since.

_Perhaps it's time to let this go, Sev._ He thought to himself, tossing the papers on the desk. As he lit the fireplace to burn the remnants of his failed past, a searing pain went through his left forearm. He caught himself hunched over his papers, sending them askew as he righted himself. The Dark Lord must be very angry for summoning him at a time like this.

As he reached for his mask and robes, he thought about putting his papers away, but a second summons hit his arm and began to bleed. He took a vial of pain-releaving potion as a preventive measure and fled the castle, disapparating as soon as he reached the gates. He didn't care that his sleeve was soaked with blood or that he was making a trail for all to see.

Back in Severus' office were the bold words at the top of a page that was his albatross:

**TEMPORARY CONTRACT OF CONSENSUAL OWNERSHIP**

On that page was his name in short, spiky handwriting. And the soft curves of a Lily Evans.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Unable to sleep, Tonks sat on her bed, legs crossed, book at her side, and parchment in hand. A quill was held in her right hand, the feathered end of which was being subconsciously run along her lips as she read down the list. She couldn't deny that she was a bit shocked when she had unrolled the parchment and realized it was about four feet in length. She couldn't have imagined how there were enough "activities", as Severus had called them, to fill up such space. However, here they were, listed alphabetically and in precise format.

The instructions at the top of the page indicated that beside each item, she was to list if she had ever participated in said activity and to rank her interest in such an activity. A zero meant that it was a "hard limit" and 1 meant it was a "soft limit", the numbers from 2-5 simply conveyed an increase in desire. If unsure she was to put "curious about".

Already, Tonks had needed to reference the book at her side a number of times, starting with the meanings of "hard" and "soft" limits. The rational side of her mind, that was continuing a diatribe it had started as soon as she was out of Severus' office, had given a sigh of relief. The persistent objections softening somewhat, when it had realized that there were limits and safeguards were in place. _Anal sex…yes…_ she remembered when she had first tried it when dating a young man in the same class as her during auror training, the slight pain that transformed into a very pleasurable fullness and friction _…4…er, 5._ The fumbling romance had long since dissolved, but she remembered those nights fondly. Her face heated slightly when she remembered that Severus would indeed be reading this list, glancing at the book she remembered its emphasis on trust and honesty. She left her ranking where it was, the warmth in her cheeks just as steadfast.

Continuing down the list, ranking as necessary, she was becoming well aware that safe guards may not always be enough. _Asphyxiation?... Blood play?_ Her mind immediately flashed to one of her first cases as an auror that involved blood magic and its dark uses. A shiver worked its way up her back. She scrawled "no" and a zero next to it. The line disappeared, reappearing at the bottom under its respective "limits" column.

_Collars…_a smirk tugged at her lips as she noticed a growing theme when it came to her and Severus_…no, 4?... Electricity?..._Her eyes widened slightly at seeing something so muggle-based on the list. _No, Curious about._ _Fire play…No, Curious about. _Tonks found herself shaking her head and wrinkling her nose at any of the items that mentioned or hinted at bathroom use. She sincerely hoped, as she wrote 'no, 0', that he felt the same way._ High heels…yes…it was a terrible idea then and is a terrible idea now and back then I was simply trying to walk…so….yes, 1?_

As the list went on she was surprising herself with both how short her limits lists were and how long her "curious about" list was becoming. She never would have guessed that so many of these items would be on a list associated with pleasure. Although more than a fair share of the items caused a certain amount of fear and apprehension inside her, she was equally intrigued with the prospect of how they could be used to reach a pleasurable goal. Furthermore, with the fear came an increase in heart rate, a giddy recklessness, and a type of electric alive feeling along her skin. She had never denied that she lived for thrills and adrenaline, it was why she had been drawn to becoming an auror in the first place, now, looking at the parchment in her lap, she found herself being drawn to the items scrawled across the page.

Yawning she put the parchment aside. There were still a few items she didn't understand and would need to owl Severus about before she could finish the list. She also figured going over it the next day a few times wouldn't be such a bad idea. As she flicked her wand to extinguish the lamps around the room, she saw the report that she needed to complete for the Order. Sighing she realized tomorrow would be a day of paperwork, only one of which she was actually looking forward to.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus was immediately disarmed and restrained as he was forced to kneel in front of The Dark Lord. _I'm in trouble, it seems._ His mind had already turned into the blank screen that he depended on for his survival.

"Ssseveruss... always the helpful one..." The Dark Lord's tone was unmistakably sarcastic, as the other Death Eaters laughed and taunted him.

"The Half-Blood, the Prince boy, thinks he'll ever get ahead by interfering with Lord Voldemort's plans." His blood ran cold.

"My Lord, I can assure you that I have always seen to it that your plans..." I objected, trying to keep panic and pleading out of my voice. The stern boot of Bellatrix went across his face and was only remaining in a kneeling position due to the magical restraints keeping him up.

"Hello to you too, Bella. Your normal spite seems to be missing from your tender ministrations. Catch your husband fellating muggle orphans again?" He asked, and got her wand casting the Cruciatus Curse directly into his chest for his trouble. Bellatrix seemed ready to verbally retort, but was cut short by The Dark Lord.

"Don't hurt him too much, now, Bella. _You_ were the binder for that Unbreakable Vow." _Bugger, he knows. I should have sworn them to secrecy._

"But I came and told you as soon as it had happened, my Lord!" She pleaded, but was put under the Cruciatus Curse anyways for her troubles. Her writing in pain always seemed to be borderline erotic, and Severus wasn't sure he would ever want to delve into her psyche.

"Draco was the only one to know about this mission, and instead his mommy came to you to plead for your help! Draco, you may stop tending to your mother and get over here." The Dark Lord's face was contorted in obvious rage.

Draco shuffled over quickly, and Severus was able to see that Narcissa had been subjected to torture by Draco's unwilling hand. Gone was the look of regal stoicism; nothing makes a woman look more beaten than crying as your own son is forced to use _Crucio_ on you.

The Dark Lord pulled out a deep green Granny Smith Apple. _This cannot be good, not when they resort to fruit._ Severus thought vainly, and his mind went off to debate if an apple was a fruit or vegetable in order to withstand whatever was going to happen to him.

"The incantation is _Sectumsempra_, Draco. When done right, you'll only get the layer of skin off." The Dark Lord was peeling the skin off of the apple in a spiral manner, and Severus already knew that Draco's focus would not be good enough to do this without excessive harm. _And on top of it, he's using my own spell against me._

"Severus, know that this is only a warning. You were right in your assumption that if Draco here fails to kill Albus Dumbledore, that the task does fall to you. I'd like to see the look of surprise on his face as you do it. But IT IS NOT YOUR PLACE TO QUESTION NOR ASSUME MY COMMANDS! Draco, skin his right forearm." The red-slitted eyes were sparkling with a cruel sadistic streak, only matched by Bellatrix's.

Draco looked like he was about to vomit, but he somehow kept his posture enough to begin the curse that would cut and peel the flesh off of his arm. Severus was glad that he had taken the potion in advance, if he withstood the pain and didn't pass out, there was a chance he could repair the damage quickly enough with the counter-curse and a lot of dittany.

The cutting was slow initially, but Draco got the incisions right at the wrist and spiraled with his wand as he used his left hand to peel the skin back. The look of horror was obvious on his face, and Severus pitied the boy while wishing to kill him at the same time.

He wasn't sure he could handle the pain and the intensity of what was going on, but he was eventually saved when Draco was told to stop at the elbow. The pool of blood at his knees was making him sick, while Bella crawled up to him and started to reach for the strips of skin hanging off of his elbow now.

"Not this time, Bella. If Severus displeases me again, you may eat whatever scraps you find." The Dark Lord chided, as if speaking to a reckless puppy.

"Half-Blood, you serve me at my pleasure. Do not become too acclimated to a position above your station if you continue to meddle in my affairs. Understood?" His voice was harsh and inhuman.

"I understand, My Lord." Severus said graciously, unable to bow or grovel due to the restraints.

"You may go, Severus. Draco, do the same to your mother now." As Severus staggered out of the room in order to apparate away, the last thing he heard was the screams of Narcissa Malfoy.

* * *

Severus landed at the gates of Hogwarts, having to use his left hand to cast rather than his right. He had sealed the deeper gouges from the Sectumsempra curse already, but the flaps of skin were already too far gone. He shot off his Patronus towards the castle, hoping in vain anyone could make sense of the blurry doe running off... to Hogsmeade.

_I'm going to die right here, all because I didn't think to bring a blood-replenishing potion with me._

The after affects of Bella's _Crucio_ was starting to hit him, and his body convulsed as his chest and back felt the aftershocks as burning, cutting sensations through his flesh and bone.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks was startled awake by the slight, but unmistakable tingle of someone else's magic. Drawing her wand from under her pillow she quickly drawing drew it, expecting to face some type of threat. Instead she found herself aiming at the blinding white light of a patronus. Her eyes went wide as she realized whose patronus it was.

The Order had started using patronuses earlier in the year for sending certain communications that were too important to risk interception. All of the members had become familiar with each other's different forms. That had been the first time she had seen Severus' doe. She remembered how surprised she was. She had expected a snake or even a bat, anything darker than the soft, silvery, innocent looking creature currently standing at the end of her bed.

She rushed out of bed, throwing on the same clothes she had worn yesterday that made a trail on the floor to her bed. Running to follow the doe, all the reasons he would have contacted her in such a manner raced through her mind. _Had Hogwarts been attacked? Had something happened to Harry? Had something happened with the Order?_ Her breath, fast from the run, caught in her throat as she stopped just short of the Hogwarts gates.  
"Severus!" Tonks cried out as she rushed over to his crumpled form. The questions, already forming on her lips, became a noticeable hiss as she saw the blood on the ground and the sticky, wet look of the right side of his black robes_…Death Eater robes…_ she realized, causing a fraction of hesitation as she approached. His right arm was clutched close to his chest, his back hunched in pain. She circled around to his front, trying to catch his eyes. "Who did this?...Are they here?" She assumed since he was at the gates that he had apparated here, but wanted to make sure that if she took him to the castle that she was marching them toward safety, not away from it.

Whether due to blood loss or pain, Tonks wasn't sure, he didn't respond. "SEVERUS!..Look at me!" Tonks snapped trying to get his attention, trying to keep him focused and conscious. As he looked up, Tonks couldn't help the sigh of relief, even as the glazed look in his eyes and the way his face was contorted in pain pulled at her heart. "Is the castle safe?" She asked, softer yet no less determined. He nodded briefly before his body once again shook. Acting quickly she got on his left side, still unsure as to how his right arm was injured, just knowing that it was obviously in enough pain to offer little support in helping her get him to the castle. She cast a charm on him to make him lighter so that she could better support him with his arm around her shoulder and hers wrapping around his waist. She followed that charm up with an illusionment charm, in case any students or fellow teachers were up she knew that none of them needed to see him like this.

She moved them both as quickly as she could down to his office and chambers. Trying to keep him conscious she quizzed him on different potions and their ingredients the whole way, which served the dual purpose of keeping him awake and hopefully focused on something other than the pain. She maneuvered them through his office and into his room, her eyes scanning it quickly to find the bed. She gently set him on it, easing his body down until it was prone. As his right arm came into view for the first time she couldn't help the wave of nausea followed by one of intense fury that washed over her. His arm was in tatters and the full reason for the blood loss was more than obvious. She backed up, pulling breath through her nose and keeping her jaw clenched. She turned to look for the cabinet holding his personal supply of potions she had quizzed him about on their way down here. Spotting it on the other side of the room, she practically ran over to it, scanning the labels for both a pain-killing draught and blood-replenishing potion. Grabbing a vial of each she rushed back over, gently lifting his head as she held each to his lips.

Looking again at his right arm she knew it would require someone with far more medical knowledge than her combat experience allowed. She had done as much as she could with the potions he had so thankfully had on hand. As he drifted off into unconsciousness she quickly sent her own patronus to Madam Pomfry, refusing to leave his side.


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus had lost consciousness, and he wasn't sure if it was from a concussion, blood loss, or overexerting his magic. He only knew that he had sent off his patronus to the castle and it had went to Hogsmeade instead. Either way, he found rescue and was unable to ask for dittany. It was as if the pain had wired his jaw shut, and wasn't able to speak.

"Who did this?...Are they here?" Nymphadora's first questions were to secure the area and to look for potential threats. He'd have to thank her for keeping a rational head on her shoulders later.

"SEVERUS!..Look at me!" She was forcing his attention onto her, and he liked the way his name sounded on her lips. He could sleep with that sound, he thought. It would be peaceful, so peaceful, to just let it all go. Except for the convulsions of searing pain. He got to keep that.

"Is the castle safe?" _Finally, she's getting the idea!_ He thought, nodding his head to her. _I can't talk, so ask yes or no questions, please._ He then felt his body being carried up to the castle, then the cool sensation of being disillusioned so that the students wouldn't have to see the horror that had happened to him. He'd definitely have to thank her for consideration for his privacy.

She left him on the bed and went searching for his potions. _Thank Salazar for this witch_ he thought.

She put the vials to his lips, and all he could do was trust her that she got the right ones, and that it wouldn't adversely react to each other. The first one was the pain-killing draught that he had made, and was grateful for, but as he tasted the blood-replenishing potion, he knew he was in trouble.

When dosed in the proper order, he would be recovering well. Instead, he realized that he was going to pass out for the next few hours. Apprenticing potioneers as well as healers had to learn about properly sequencing potions, or else you could be liable for 'canned coma', as it was called.

But Severus wasn't worried about not waking back up as much as he was worried about what he had left out before answering his summons. But that thought left his mind as he slipped under the influence of the potions.


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: TPOV

* * *

When Poppy arrived she immediately started asking Tonks questions, "What happened?...What curses were used?...What potions did you give him?", while evaluating Severus' condition. Tonks was only able to answer a few of the questions, wishing she could be of more help. When Tonks mentioned the potions and the order she gave them in Poppy gave her a sharp look, "Well…that explains part of why he is unconscious." Tonks' stomach dropped even further as she realized she might have made him worse than he already was.

She had to get up, had to walk around or she was going to lose it. She stalked out into his office, restless and pacing. As the adrenaline wore off the chill of the dungeons set in. Wrapping her arms around herself she walked over to the fireplace behind Severus' desk. Sitting in the desk chair she cast _incendio_, trying to take in the warmth the raging fire offered. It wasn't until she leaned her head back against the chair that she realized her hair was once again brown. She closed her eyes trying to pass the time with the exercise Severus had taught her. After multiple tries she relented, knowing the last storm cloud, the only one that mattered right now wouldn't clear until she knew whether or not Severus would be okay. Trying to focus her attention elsewhere she glanced at his desk. The words "TEMPORARY CONTRACT OF CONSENSUAL OWNERSHIP" caught her attention. She knew she should ignore it, perhaps even cover it up, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the page.

The contract detailed terms of service, hard and soft limits, and termination requirements. At the bottom were two signatures. She knew one of them without truly looking, the spikey writing unmistakable. She knew by the limits listed that this contract had to have been a prior relationship of his and hadn't really expected the name to mean anything to her at all_…Lily Evans…_She had to read it again for it to really register. _Lily Evans…as in Lily Potter…Harry's mom?_ She had seen the pictures of the Order from the first war and had studied Harry's history. _"I shall only ask you once to refrain from turning your hair red"_. Her head snapped back to look toward Severus' room. She didn't know how she felt this knowledge. She felt a pang of jealously, which she instantly felt guilty about. Lilly was gone, and Severus was obviously still affected by her memory. _No one has ever mentioned this. Does anyone else know?_

"He's awake." Pompy's voice sounded from the door. Tonks jumped and immediately grabbed a book on the desk to cover up the pages. "Sorry, to startle you my dear," Pompy said warmly. Tonks smiled back as she passed the healer and quickly went to Severus. She tried to smooth out her features. She couldn't process how what she just learned impacted the present, especially not when Severus was now awake when earlier he had been so close to death. She shivered at the thought, remembering his arm, remembering the blood.

Entering his room she saw him propped up on pillows and swiftly moved to his side. Sitting next to him seeing his eyes open, her relief was obvious, not only in her face but also with the return of her pink hair. "Oh thank Merlin. I didn't know if…if…" She shook her head trying to clear it, unable to voice what she was thinking. "How's your arm? Are you okay? How do you feel? What happened? How did you…" She cut off the rush of questions, realizing the last thing he needed right now was an interrogation. She smiled sheepishly at him, unable to hide her relief that he was awake..._no thanks to me_. "Sorry about the potions..."


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: SPOV

A/N #2: So now we know that Severus' history includes a D/s relationship with Lily Evans... This becomes one of those head-cannons for me that resonates and makes sense, explaining why he didn't go after another submissive while he was under Voldemort's rule. -DaniSnape

* * *

Severus' eyes finally opened, and he realized that his body had indeed needed rest after all of that. He saw he was in his bed and Poppy Pomfrey was sitting over him.

When it hit him where he was, instead of the Hospital wing, he bolted upright, wanting to secure his paperwork.

"Now, now, Severus, Tonks was white as a ghost when she called me at the state you were in. Don't go overexerting yourself with paperwork and reports for Albus now. Merlin knows how much you've gone through... You should know that your arm is wrapped up in a compress of dittany. All of the skin that was remaining there had to be excised for risk of infection. I can't imagine the person who could do this to another..." Her eyes teared up, as Severus understood the depths people would go in order to save themselves.

"She's... still here?" His heart fluttered at the idea that she was concerned for him, yet it crashed at the current state of his desk. _Either she read it and we'll have to speak about this or she didn't and I'll simply burn it the first chance I get._ He tried sitting up again, and Poppy threatened to tie him down to the bed.

"You stay here, and I'll tell her that you've woken up. She wanted to know that anyways." Poppy exited his bedroom, and his mind decided at that moment to try and make sure that he, and his bedroom, were presentable for her.

As he saw her from the doorway, he felt relieved to see her hair in its normal shock of pink. He had been worried that she would have returned to that Pettigrew shade of brown again.

"Oh thank Merlin. I didn't know if…if…" She shook her head, unsure of how to say the same words he thought every time when he went out. _If I would survive this time._

"How's your arm? Are you okay? How do you feel? What happened? How did you…" Her questions and her concern was a balm to him, and he smiled, even knowing how irksome she was becoming. She realized it, and paused herself, deciding to say something entirely different.

She smiled at him, and he was glad to see someone so unabashedly concerned for him. "Sorry about the potions..." His eyes quickly found Poppy's, and she left them to have a bit of privacy.

"Let me know if I can be of any more assistance, Severus." The mediwitch smiled wistfully at him as she took the floo back to the Hospital Wing.

He attempted to lift his right arm, but the knitting skin pulled taut and he winced a bit. He'd have to use his left for now. He took her hands in his left, and thanked her.

"Skin will regrow itself, and I am one to always wear long sleeves. It appears that I needed a bit of rest after all. Had it been a different combination of potions given in the wrong order... well, that's how the basis of the Draught of Living Death was stumbled upon. It was designed to keep you alive, but not necessarily revive you."

He decided to change the subject. "I'm beginning to see your impudence as a charming quality, Nymphadora. Don't lose that. Also, I'm glad you were still able to understand my Patronus, I had sworn I sent it to the castle."

He took stock of his surroundings, and instinctively knew why he felt so odd. "Where's my wand, Nymphadora?" His hand had felt vulnerable without it. He could just send the pages into the fire had he been wielding his wand. It was then he realized he was being a coward, because he didn't want to bring it up only to then have to tell her about it if she hadn't read it in the first place. _No, it's better if she brings it up to me. I'm without doubt that she would anyways._

"Thank you for finding me. I..." He thought about it. "Did you have any questions concerning your homework?" He tried not to smile at the white-washing of it. He really wanted to ask if the ideas of bondage and masochism aroused her as much as the other side of it did for him.

_I'll have to make a special order again with Twilfitt, it seems._ He mused, wondering which color restraints and collar would do best with her skin tone and hair color. Black was decent and would work for every occasion, but someone like her would need a contrasting color, something that expressed who she truly was. His mind then betrayed him, and made him imagine her wearing a pink leather collar at the next Order meeting, and he was unable to keep a chuckle out of his voice. He found himself glad to have this witch here by his side.


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: TPOV

* * *

"I'm beginning to see your impudence as a charming quality, Nymphadora. Don't lose that. Also, I'm glad you were still able to understand my Patronus, I had sworn I sent it to the castle."

The guilt inside her for the mix-up with the potions subsided as he complimented her. She didn't know why his patronus had come to her if he had sent it to the castle, but she was glad it had. She didn't like the thought that he could have been out there, it the state that she had found him in, with her sleeping soundly in her bed, unaware.

"Where's my wand, Nymphadora?" Her eyes went wide and she looked around her before looking down at the cuff of her boot. She had taken it from his left hand before putting his arm around her shoulder to carry him here. With everything that had happened she had forgotten its presence entirely. Drawing it, she looked at it appreciatively, loving the intricate detail in the handle. The wood was warm from being close to her. She handed it to him, knowing the healing value in just having your wand back in your possession.

"Did you have any questions concerning your homework?" Her eyes snapped to his. She felt her face get hot and had to look away, excitement twisting inside her. "Um….yes…" _Ugh, this would have been so much easier to do via owl._ Trying to think back to the list and her responses, she was slightly perplexed at how she could feel so embarrassed and yet so excited at the same time, the two growing equally inside her as she remembered a few of the items she had questions about. As he chuckled she had no doubt that it had to be due to the intense blush that must have spread across her face, but instead of feeling mortified the sound of his laughter, the sparkle in his eyes when she looked up warmed her in an entirely different way. Most of all it eased her enough to find her voice and continue, "There were a lot of the activities that I was curious about. I knew what they were, but not really how they could be applied or how I would react when they were. I was surprised to see electricity on the list and I am probably most curious about that….but then there also seemed to be so many items to be hit with and I don't understand how they all aren't the same or how they wouldn't just hurt." She had a pretty high pain tolerance, but had ever only channeled that into determination and focus during battle. As she tried to imagine herself bound and beaten with any of the implements she squirmed subconsciously on his bed.

Clearing her throat, distinctly aware all of a sudden to how close she was to him and that she was in his personal chambers, on his bed no less, she tried to refocus herself on what he had asked for. "I also didn't know what potion play, riding the horse, …." She tried hard to remember the other things she had meant to owl him about, "…forniphilia, or predicament bondage entailed." She peaked up at him through her eyelashes, awaiting his reaction to everything she had said as well as his explanations.


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: SPOV

* * *

"Um….yes…" She pulled out his wand from her boot. He made a note to get her a proper wand sheath, perhaps as a present. He always liked knowing where his wand was, and didn't care to stash it within his robes. When he was going into a dangerous fight, he preferred to have his wand in his left gauntlet for a fast draw and it made it ready for casting a shield charm.

"There were a lot of the activities that I was curious about. I knew what they were, but not really how they could be applied or how I would react when they were. I was surprised to see electricity on the list and I am probably most curious about that….but then there also seemed to be so many items to be hit with and I don't understand how they all aren't the same or how they wouldn't just hurt."

Severus smirked at her question, ready with an answer. He even saw her squirm a little, then cleared her throat in an attempt to gather either courage or resolve. He wasn't sure which one it was yet.

"I also didn't know what potion play, riding the horse..." she paused momentarily, as if forcing herself to remember something that she would have rather written down, "…forniphilia, or predicament bondage entailed."

"Nymphadora, just as there are different ways of kissing someone, each derivation is preferred differently by the people involved. At times a light kiss with the softest lips can take your breath away, whereas in the middle of passion, your mouth may be yearning for a bold, thrusting kiss. I find myself a fan of the whole spectrum, from light to intense. It depends on the circumstances. Some implements are designed to sting to the point where it cannot be used too long without tearing flesh, whereas the far other end of the spectrum is a delightful thud, almost flat yet crushing. Floggers can be designed with pointed tips so that they can produce both types of impact, and it is dependent on how it is weld. I will be happy to show you the difference, when I have full mobility of my arm.

"As for your definitions, potion play is obviously the use of potions, albeit consensually. Imagine being given something that made all pain register as pleasure, or a potion that restricts your ability to orgasm until you are given an antidote, no matter how wickedly I entice you. I used to be hired to design lust potions keyed specifically to a partner for playtime, after having confirmed with both parties that they had agreed to this. It was interesting to get to watch them use that particular potion, since it made her wanton like a bitch in heat." His eyes seemed to glaze over in the memory, considering it was his first experience with BDSM and the idea of fulfilling a woman's needs by tying her up and pleasing her greatly intrigued him. He learned a lot about himself with that couple over a few months, and eventually sought the BDSM community and sought training for himself.

"Riding the horse was a type of punishment; imagine straddling something sharp and at a height where you had to decide to discomfort your feet or your nethers. I'd only do this in a way to pleasure rather than harm you, but you'd soon see how torturous pleasure can be.

"Fornifilia can best be described as human furniture. It is objectifying and more in keeping with a service submissive than a sexual one. If I wanted, I could have a fair boy here on his hands and knees to serve as an ottoman so I could put my feet up while reading the latest potions journals. Or read to him from _Tales of Beedle the Bard_. I should add that I do not have a submissive of any type, however.

"And as for predicament bondage, it is as the name suggests. Bondage based on the predicament or bondage designed to create a predicament. I once saw a demonstration of two naked female submissives each in their own kneeling position, facing away from each other, each with a chain running from their collars to the wrists of the other submissive. They each were to be as still as possible while making the other submissive reach orgasm by rubbing the length of chain against their opponent's quim. Lost twenty Galleons on that wager." _Damn Lucius,_he thought, remembering to never wager against that man.

He looked at her and was amazed that she hadn't been scared off by any of this.

"I'm glad to hear that you haven't asked why someone would be into such perverse activities. But I must also warn you that due to the sensual nature of how I Dominate someone, it would easily become sexual. You, of course, have every right to cease any play with a safeword, but you should not expect me to bring your pleasure in my certain ways without wanting to," he wet his lips with his tongue as he decided on the proper words, "fully satisfy both of us. Which brings us to an unpleasant point in this conversation.

"Members within the Order would not understand the nature of this relationship. I advise you to not even bother trying to bring it up. Should you wish to continue pursuing Lupin, I shall not stand in the way, nor would it affect us. People involved with BDSM frequently cannot engage in such activities with their spouse due to the partner's perceived stigma or unwillingness to engage in such acts.

"I am willing to brew you contraception potions or take them to myself if you desire. My only demand is that you submit yourself only to me. Is this agreeable?"


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: TPOV

* * *

She was trying hard to focus on the explanations he was giving, but the words he was using kept distracting her as images ran through her mind.

"… At times a light kiss with the softest lips can take your breath away…" _Would his kiss be light? Will it take my breath away?_ "… your mouth may be yearning for a bold, thrusting kiss…" The image of being pressed against the rough stone wall, his lips capturing hers, the palms of his hands planted firmly on the wall on either side of her head. "… designed to sting…cannot be used too long without tearing flesh… a delightful thud, almost flat yet crushing…I will be happy to show you the difference…" Her mouth had gone dry, her tongue darting out trying to wet her lips.

She liked the sound of the potion play. However, the orgasm denial sounded positively frustrating and wicked. She didn't know if she would want to curse him or beg him if he did something like that to her. She couldn't help but gape slightly as he said the words "bitch in heat". It was like she was meeting him for the first time. She had never seen him as vulnerable as he had been earlier, then to find out about his past relationship with Lily Evans, and now this accompanied by a happy, if not hungry, look in his eyes. A number of people knew Severus Snape, the potions master. She wondered if anyone knew this person sitting in bed in front of her right now. She felt honored to be trusted enough to be shown this side of him. She wanted to know more, to see more.

"… straddling something sharp and at a height where you had to decide to discomfort your feet or your nethers…" Her breath hitched slightly, trying to imagine being in that situation. "I'd only do this in a way to pleasure rather than harm you, but you'd soon see how torturous pleasure can be." Her mind spun as she eased a sigh of relief when he reinforced the fact that he had no intention of harming her and then followed it with what sure sounded like a threat…or maybe a promise? He continued and the image of his feet propped up on a person seemed simultaneously exotic and bizarre. She realized that not only was he revealing himself to her but an entirely different world to her, one she wasn't sure she would fit into yet. She knew she wanted to try.

"I should add that I do not have a submissive of any type, however." She hadn't realized how much she needed to hear that until he had said it. That possibility had been what was bothering her since she had found the previous contract. If he had started back with Lily, how many had there been since? And did he have any now? She was glad she had the answer without having to ask.

Her eyes widened as she listened to him describe the predicament bondage. She was competitive enough that such an event could prove interesting… "Lost twenty Galleons on that wager" … She smirked, for both of them. One of the driving forces of her life had been people saying, "You can't…". Her response had always been, "Watch me!" _Possibly not the most submissive response._ She realized. She had to wonder how she would react when it came to orders. Being an auror she often followed orders, but limitations had never been a strong point for her. She had always tried to push her own as well as those of others around her.

"… it would easily become sexual." Her eyes immediately snapped up to his again. "You, of course, have every right to cease any play with a safeword, but you should not expect me to bring your pleasure in my certain ways without wanting to," her eyes strayed from his as she watched his tongue wet his lips, she knew that move, she had done it earlier when this conversation had started, had the move looked as inviting as his did now? "fully satisfy both of us. Which brings us to an unpleasant point in this conversation." She frowned slightly; she had rather been enjoying the pleasant part of the conversation.

"Members within the Order would not understand the nature of this relationship. I advise you to not even bother trying to bring it up." She bit her tongue to keep the sarcastic remark inside. _Yes, I can just imagine sitting around the table with Molly…"Oh, by the way, I have a new hobby. I let Severus beat me in both of our free time. At first I thought being stuck on Hogwarts patrol would be boring, but he sure knows how to liven it up…could you pass a scone?" Brilliant. I will have to get right on that._ "Should you wish to continue pursuing Lupin, I shall not stand in the way, nor would it affect us." The smirk that had been on her lips from the previous image thinned to a grim line at the mention of Remus. She didn't know what she wished with Remus, but he had been more than clear in detailing his wishes for her. It didn't help the sting that had settled into the background, but was nevertheless constantly present. "People involved with BDSM frequently cannot engage in such activities with their spouse due to the partner's perceived stigma or unwillingness to engage in such acts. I am willing to brew you contraception potions or take them to myself if you desire. My only demand is that you submit yourself only to me. Is this agreeable?"

She was quiet for a moment trying to take in everything he had said. She didn't know if she could be in a relationship with Remus and keep something like this from him. She didn't even know if she had a relationship with Remus in the first place. Did couples really keep something like this from each other? "Was that the arrangement between you and Lily Evans? That James wouldn't know?" She asked softly, knowing he was going to be angry that she had snooped, but desperate to know how the dynamic worked, if it worked. It would explain why no one seemed to know about Severus and Lily.


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: SPOV

A/N #2: Usually, my co-author and I have planned out the big plot points in our role play. This one I knew I had set up myself (by leaving the contract out to see), but didn't give her any suggestion/advice on where to take it. This was probably one of the first times I was taken entirely by surprise. It makes for a great role-playing dynamic, still being able to communicate and to keep a story going in the same direction, while also getting the occasional surprise. -DaniSnape

* * *

Severus had, in that pregnant moment, wondered if he had asked too much of her.

_Is that why she's taking so long to reply? Perhaps she feels compelled to confide in someone about this? Does she wish to be sexually submissive to Lupin as well?_

He blinked ever so slowly, throwing all of those doubtful thoughts out of his mind. He hadn't made any unreasonable request.

When she did respond, the words she had uttered were the one thing he wasn't expecting from her. It was the single topic that he didn't want to have to speak about.

"Was that the arrangement between you and Lily Evans? That James wouldn't know?"

Severus felt his face close down. It was his only Achilles' Heel.

He knew that she deserved a response, and to know what had happened. He wanted to explain that what had occurred was a private matter, and none of James' business. It would have been simple enough to state that they were secretly an item for the longest time before the Potter boy had become anything close to resembling decent enough for Lily to date.

Even then, Severus believed that Lily only went out with James in the first place out of a sense of blackmail from her friends. He recalled overhearing how Lily had to deny any feelings for 'that greasy slytherin git' to her friends because he had been friends with Mulciber.

His wanting to fit in and seek protection from harassment from James, Sirius, and Remus had slowly pushed him into a circle of allies that turned out to be the wedge that drove him and Lily apart. Though it was his own words which proved to be the final nail to even a friendship, when he had called her a Mudblood. He had received the broken collar by owl that very evening, ending their arrangement.

How do you tell someone you've found yourself attracted to that you're still in love with a dead woman, gone and buried for over a fifteen years now? _You don't, and you're just going to get yourself hurt again._

Severus realized why he left the contract and the broken collar in his desk. So that he could stop himself from being in a situation where he'd have to face that again.

Nymphadora looked at him, expecting a response. His face had gone as neutral as he could possibly get it, yet he was unable to blink away the tears forming in his eyes.

"This was a mistake. I should have never..." He began, attempting to extricate himself as he was already feeling buried in the past.

Severus was torn, he had wanted to chuck her out as soon as he had heard her question, yet he also wanted her to not leave his side. He felt raw and vulnerable in a way that he hadn't in decades.

"Severus." The way that she had said his name felt like a stab into his heart, the betrayal of the girl he loved was sharp and evident.

He paused, and took a breath to consider his options. _Open up to her or stay miserable, Sev. If she hurts you by knowing this, at least you'll know that you gave yourself one more chance._

"The history between myself and Lily is... private. And such a relationship between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin was unheard of at that time. My friendship with her alone was the fuel for much gossip." His jaw was clenched and unsure if he should carry on.

"This cannot be repeated to anyone for any circumstance. Lily and I weren't running around having assignations behind James Potter's back. We had been lovers since the summer after our OWL examinations and she consented to be my collared submissive during our final year at Hogwarts. Each of us had been pressured by our own set of friends to dissolve our friendship with each other, and certain events unfolded to the termination of..." his voice was hoarse, as if he were unable to bring himself to say it.

"We were over before she began dating him." Severus turned his head away from Nymphadora as a tear leaked out of the corner of his eye. _Whomever thought that confession was good for the soul was a pillock._


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: TPOV

* * *

She felt like a complete tosser for asking the question. Yes she had know from his comment about her hair turning red that he still missed Lily, but the pain she saw, clear as day, in his eyes was more intense than she had ever suspected. It may have even been worth it had he said anything to help her own situation.

_My situation. What situation!? You have one man who just bared his soul to you, from the looks of it, that you just brought back from the edge of death, and is willing to show you a world you had no idea even existed. Not once since you said you would like to try has he mentioned a bloody thing about it all being "too dark", even when covered in blood. Then you have one who insists everything about him is "too dark" simply because he gets more pissy and unbearable to be around once a month. If that is what classifies as "too dark", every woman, including myself, should be locked up in Azkaban!_

Looking back at the pain held in Severus' eyes she wanted to hug him, something she could tell would be entirely unappreciated at this moment and possibly get her cursed to oblivion. Barring that, she wanted to throw something…preferably at a certain werewolf's head…also not a current option. She sighed, running a hand rather roughly through her hair.

"Bloody hell…I'm sorry, Severus, I shouldn't have asked. I saw the contract…and I just wondered…I was just hoping….I had no right. You don't have to worry about Remus. Right now he wants nothing to do with me and I wouldn't mind cursing him to Hades and back."

Severus looked at her as if he was about to object. Tonks held up her hand as she continued.

"Should that change, I…we…" She looked pointedly at Severus. "will deal with it then. That is, if the offer is still open and you will still have me." She looked up at him and couldn't help the hope that was shining in her eyes.


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: SPOV

A/N #2: I was asked (when we first started the role-play on another site) about the morality behind the supposed cheating. If you can't tell by this story line, Severus doesn't have the same clear-cut, white-hat-hero morality as Harry Potter has. This isn't some spaghetti western, and this is the first warning that this story will be going into the morally grey area. That all being said, Nymphadora is not in a relationship with Remus at this time, and it's not her fault that they aren't. He keeps pushing her away, so she's taking him at his word. -DaniSnape

* * *

He felt slightly relieved that she knew about Lily after all. Taking a cleansing breath, he was relaxing with his proximity to Nymphadora. This was something that he hadn't felt in a long while.

"Bloody hell…I'm sorry, Severus, I shouldn't have asked. I saw the contract…and I just wondered…I was just hoping….I had no right. You don't have to worry about Remus. Right now he wants nothing to do with me and I wouldn't mind cursing him to Hades and back."

_She was just hoping... what?_ He wondered as he looked at her, but she waved him to hold off as she pressed on.

"Should that change, I…we…" She locked her eyes onto him. "will deal with it then. That is, if the offer is still open and you will still have me."

He let himself smile once again. "Silly witch. I'd have never confided all that to you if I didn't want to... have you. One question, Nymphadora," he placed his left hand at the base of her neck, clenching his grip just enough to see her eyes flare to life, "what were you 'just hoping' for..."

He gently drew her down towards him, his obsidian eyes piercing hers. In that moment, he knew that she was his.

As he closed the distance between them, his pulse raced. And his fireplace roared to life.

Severus released her as he quickly composed himself to a state of boredom and annoyance. Albus' head was poking through, and his eyes rested on Severus after flicking towards Tonks.

"Good evening, Tonks. I wasn't expecting... well, thank you for looking after him. Poppy told me that you were back, but I had expected you to be... resting." Albus said through the flames.

"I'm overwrought with joy over your concern, Albus." Severus' sarcasm was impugning the Headmaster's good will.

"I'm glad that you will recover, of course. I would like for you to come report to me what had happened." The look on his face made it evident that it was not a polite request.

"Of course, Headmaster. May I expect a modicum of privacy in the future concerning visiting my personal quarters?" Severus' bitter attitude wasn't his false persona; he was truly vexed with the old man.

"I suppose I can trust you to not have another ferret incident." Albus replied, the aloof fascade slipping ever so slightly.

"I was informed that Draco had been punished with transfiguration by Mad-Eye. I was not told that it was immediately reversed. He's my godson." Severus snapped back. It was always like this between them; he knew how to smile and hit every button that the turncoat Death Eater had.

Albus looked again at the pair, smiling gently. "Make sure you both get some rest." As he pulled out of the fireplace, the flames died down to glowing embers.

Severus looked back at Nymphadora.

"What were you just hoping between myself and Lily?"


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: TPOV

A/N #2: Here we see Snape and Albus' special style of banter. Extrapolating from the conversation where Albus asks Severus to kill him in canon (The Prince's Tale, Book 7), I've seen the Headmaster as shady, manipulative, and never really accepting Severus while playing up the doddering old fool act. Severus saw through it back when Albus demanded some sort of payment to save Lily from the Prophecy, and they have had an uneasy alliance because Severus will never under-estimate the man whom Voldemort fears. -DaniSnape

* * *

Joy sprung to life in Tonks' chest. After her question she had expected to be dismissed, especially after he had called everything "a mistake". Her words had been a last ditch effort, a grasping for straws. Failing that, they were an apology and the beginning of a goodbye…one she was thrilled she didn't have to make.

As Severus' hand closed around the base of Tonks' neck she realized she had never liked feeling trapped so much in her life. However, as his question registered the trapped feeling grew. She swallowed nervously. She hadn't even quite realized what she had said earlier when she had stumbled around for the right words. But now? She was hoping for a lot of things. Like that he would continue to pull her closer and closer and…he let go.

For a brief moment Tonks felt like she was lost at sea. She wanted to grab his hand and put it right back where it was…until Albus Dumbledore's voice sounding from the fireplace startled her back into reality. A dark blush covered her cheeks even as she controlled her features into a polite smile and nodded her head in greeting. As Albus and Severus continued, she felt like she was watching a duel, each volleying their sarcastic or pointed responses at the other, both poised to deflect and return in kind. She had to bite her cheek to keep the indulgent smile off her face. She had never seen anyone speak to either Severus or Albus in such a manner. Them doing so to each other was priceless.

All too soon, Albus said his goodbyes and Tonks was once again left alone with Severus.

"What were you just hoping between myself and Lily?"

_I hoped you had forgotten about asking that damn question! That is what I hoped._He just continued looking at her, waiting. _Bugger. He would be very good at interrogations._

"I was hoping that maybe if you were with Lily when she was in another relationship you knew how to make this all work….as you mentioned before, yes there is something between Remus and I, something that is trying real hard at becoming nothing…but regardless it's there. I can't deny that. I don't know where it's going… if it's going, but…I can't lie to him Severus." She looked at him, her eyes begging that he would understand "just as I have no intention of lying to you. A relationship of any type takes trust and I feel like sooner or later the lies would surface and everything would crumble." _Why does it sound like I am telling him no? If I keep this up I am going to go from the fear of having two to losing them both._ "It doesn't even matter right now." She waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss it all. "I was just hoping that there was an easy answer." Her hand fell back in her lap and she focused on it while trying to clear her mind like Severus had taught her, trying to keep the storm clouds at bay.


	41. Chapter 41

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus heard her reply, and understood her reasoning for it. It made sense when you judged by the sake of one's morality.

_But it's an entirely different thing when outside of the theoretical._

He frowned slightly at what he heard, knowing that he'd be having to teach her a difficult truth.

"...yes there is something between Remus and I, something that is trying real hard at becoming nothing…but regardless it's there. I can't deny that. I don't know where it's going… if it's going, but…I can't lie to him Severus."

He wanted her to know that this wasn't some sort of Slytherin ploy; he was surrounded by too many of them already for him to want to be in yet another one.

"...just as I have no intention of lying to you. A relationship of any type takes trust and I feel like sooner or later the lies would surface and everything would crumble." She had continued, and he was glad to hear her refer to it as a relationship.

"It doesn't even matter right now." She seemed to want to make it all go away, and right now, so did he. "I was just hoping that there was an easy answer."

Severus looked at her and let her know that he understood her opinion.

"I can understand your need to be honest to Lupin. I can tell that you care for him deeply, and I don't intend to trespass against that. And I'm pleased to hear that you don't want to lie to me either, and that you do realize that this arrangement is as good as a relationship.

"The only reason I say that you should probably not tell him is because of the nature of what we will have. Some things are not easily forgivable between enemies; even if you were able to find the perfect words to explain to him why you've been with me, how do you think he'd take it?"

"I am sorry, Nymphadora, but there is no easy answer to this. Under the best circumstances, he will accuse me of using the Imperius Curse in order to have my way with you. Under the worst... he'll be disgusted by what we've done together and either leave you or demand that you never see me again. And all of that is predicated on being able to explain this."

Severus got up from his bed and faced her. He cupped her cheek and jaw in his left hand, wincing slightly as he tried to use his right one.

His dark eyes pierced hers, and he leaned into her to lightly brush his lips against hers. It was just enough to leave you wanting more, just to be sure that you were actually kissed in the first place.

"Nymphadora, how would you ever find the right words to tell someone else that you feel a need to love someone differently. Few people would understand the true nature of a passion between two people who express their love through bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism. Lupin wouldn't want to share you with anyone else in a non-BDSM dynamic, particularly me. It's why I offered to keep what we had secret. I'm also supposed to be a faithful Death Eater in the eyes of The Dark Lord, and it's not like I can bring you as a date to a Dark Revel."

Severus dropped his hand from her face, and he had to strain to recover his sorrow-filled eyes to his carefully neutral ones. Using his wand in his left hand, he levitated his documents with Lily's name on it and the broken collar into the fireplace and watched them burn.

"I have to go report to Albus now. I look forward to seeing you again, dear." He nodded, putting floo powder into the fireplace and transporting himself to the Headmaster's office.

_I hope she understands my concerns... I don't want to see her hurt by attempting to explain this to anyone._


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Albus was behind his desk, pretending to read some sort of official document. Severus knew better; Albus didn't need the spectacles for reading. He used them as a psychological weapon, to disarm yet pierce someone with how he would look at them.

"Ah, Severus. I was beginning to worry." He commented jovially, but his eyes had a lackluster look that said _you're nearly twenty minutes late_.

Severus approached the desk and sat across from him as if he were an errant schoolboy. "Your cocoa is no longer steaming. You expected me to come immediately to you like a dog with a bone."

Albus chose to ignore that. "Was it that difficult to dispose of her? I recall your gregarious persona had left much to be desired in the art of verbal intercourse."

"It's been a long day, Headmaster. My wand-arm was skinned like one might peel a banana. Don't you wish to know why The Dark Lord is so upset at his favorite spy?" Severus was edgy; he usually wanted to hurry through replaying what would be yet another addendum to the cacodoxical ideals he had to pretend to espouse.

"In time, Severus. In time. Don't you find it odd that Tonks looked after you even after Poppy had arrived to care for you?" His eyes were trying to meet Severus', and he wasn't foolish enough to look back into those eyes. He also had to make it appear as if he weren't avoiding eye contact purposefully.

"The antics of a Hufflepuff girl mean nothing to me, Albus. Surely there can be a better use of our time rather than you attempting..." Dumbledore's hand went up, demanding his silence.

"My dear boy, I'm simply conveying that you're just a boy, and she's just a girl... Can I make it any more obvious?" Severus had his face completely frozen in an emotionally neutral state, but was losing it quickly to agitation as the Headmaster's words struck him with an odd familiarity. _These words sound familiar, but why?_

Albus continued as if nothing had happened. "He was a punk, she did ballet... What more can I say?" His eye began to twinkle in a mischievous manner, and Snape wasn't amused at all.

"Sir, I believe that the curse in your hand has addled your brain, for you must be quite mad to be quoting Avril Lavigne." Severus' frustration translated into his left arm shaking.

Still unfazed, he continued, "He wanted her, she'd never tell... Secretly she wanted him as well."

Severus decided to quit arguing against crazy and just spat it out. "The Dark Lord knows I took the Unbreakable Vow to kill you in order to protect Draco. Narcissa, Bellatrix, and I all were tortured at the hands of Draco as punishment."

"But all of her friends, stuck up their nose... And they had a problem with his baggy clothes." Albus continued, and he conjured up a vision of Lily Potter as Avril.

"Congratulations, Headmaster. You have finally, obviously, sent me stark raving mad." Severus was transfixed to his chair as his former submissive ripped a black and red leather collar off from her neck, the silver buckle breaking into a shower of glitter in front of her as she did what could only be described as a well-rehearsed choreography number complete with hair flip.

Apparitions of James, Sirius, and Pettigrew stood behind her like backup singers, joining in for the chorus.

"He was a Snapey boi, she said 'See ya later boy', He wasn't good enough for her." One by one, the three Marauders each broke a similar collar off of their own necks, tossing them back at Snape as he simply sat there dumbstruck.

"She had a pretty arse, but their love was just a farce..."

Severus instantly knew that the words were changing, as Lily approached him with the same tender look on her face, but her eyes held a malicious intent as she teased him with her lips at that too-close-not-to-kiss range.

"It's your fault she's now in the earth..."

Severus bolt upright in his bed, waking up from his apparent nightmare. He reached for his wand momentarily only to have the feeling of pulling and tearing flesh at his elbow remind him that his wand arm was still out of commission.

With his left hand, he managed to cast _lumos_ and was reassured that he was alone in his room. His debriefing with Albus went spectacularly uneventful; Albus had assumed that The Dark Lord would find out about his Unbreakable Vow.

It was Albus' final words that sent Severus reaching for the firewhiskey as a cold comfort before succumbing to exhaustion once again.

"All the more reason for you to kill me when the time is right. Should you be awarded the Headmastership of Hogwarts for your loyalty to Tom, promise me that you will do all in your power to protect the children there."


	43. Chapter 43

A/N: TPOV

* * *

_Bloody hell what am I doing?_ Although she was still sitting on Severus' bed, she felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. She wasn't quite sure, if she jumped, whether she would fly or plummet. Her hand moved up to the slight tingling still present on her lips. She wanted to fly so badly.

"I'm also supposed to be a faithful Death Eater in the eyes of The Dark Lord, and it's not like I can bring you as a date to a Dark Revel."

The image of him in the Death Eater robes skittered across her mind and she shivered. However, her eyes sparkled with mischief when she imagined just for a second what the faces of the Death Eaters would be if she showed up as his "date". It would go to hell in a hand basket shortly after, but that first brief moment? The looks would be priceless.

Smiling to herself, she stood and turned on her heal and headed for the door. She looked around, realizing just how little she brought in her rush to get to Severus.

* * *

Arriving back at her room she was surprised to see the hawk patronus of Alastor Moody. _What now?_ Tonks had a brief moment of panic as she tried to think of what else could have gone wrong.

"Albus has informed me of Snape's condition. Furthermore, Lupin has returned from his stint with Greyback's back. I feel an order meeting is needed a night from now to ensure everyone is kept aware of the situations at hand. Meet at the usual location at midnight."

Tonks sighed at the message, glad it wasn't anything too serious but still weary that it was another thing she had today. Already it was only a day away. The pink sunrise peaked over Hogsmeade villiage. She turned into bed, assigning a spell to wake her up in enough time to hopefully get her report done prior to the meeting so that she could turn it in then. She wasn't ready to see Snape again, nor was she anywhere near ready to see Remus again. Both of them in the same room? She was glad she had the professional excuse to keep this meeting ordered and focused. She peeled off her clothes, stained with Severus' blood and threw them into a pile to be cleaned later. Her eyes shut almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, well aware of how little restful sleep she had gotten lately. As her eyes closed the soft touch of Severus' lips on hers ran through her mind, lulling her to sleep.


	44. Chapter 44

A/N: SPOV

A/N #2: I love the small moments of humor I can put into my stories, as well as the occasional anachronistic wtf moments. See if you can spot them. -DaniSnape

* * *

As Severus skulked in the hidden shadow that he preferred in the Order meetings, he realized that he had been having a remarkably enjoyable day, considering. The note on his breakfast plate about tonight's meeting was undesired, but a healthy dose of irish creme in his coffee made it better.

Even his Double Defense class had went well, considering he had them all dueling silently and with their non-wand arms. Before any of the students made an objection, he had made the pointed comment that anything could happen to your casting arm, like a rogue bludger or an inept Professor wielding a wand when he had no right to.

Potter was glaring daggers at him, and Granger and Weasley were having to remind the boy that it was Lockhart who de-boned his arm as well as threatened to obliviate their memories and abandon them at the bottom of the Chamber of Secrets. _That boy needs to get over his prejudices and hate._ He thought darkly, knowing that it was the way he was seduced to The Dark.

And then he was here. Sitting alone and early for the Order meeting, wondering why there was a striped tabby on the long dining room with her back leg pointed vertically while she deftly cleaned her... _Minerva_.

Severus stared at the cat as she shamelessly cleaned her crotch where the Weasley clan ate.

"How can you do this here?" He hissed at the cat. "I thought you had some sense of decorum."

The cat looked up at him for a second, blinked, and resumed cleaning herself. Severus was undecided between pushing her off the table or not, since it would involve touching her.

After a few more minutes, he decided that he couldn't stand it any longer. Picking up the feline, he began to chastise her for having no sense of propriety for a woman of her age.

It was then when he bumped into Minerva.

"Severus, what on earth are you doing with that cat?" Severus looked between the tartan-clad woman and the meowing furball in his arms. He put her down, muttered something about "never speak of this again", and went back to his hidden alcove.


	45. Chapter 45

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks arrived late having had to hurry to finish her report and meet with Mad-eye. Her debrief of both the items from _Borgin and Burkes_ as well as Severus' injuries had gone smoothly. However, she had to keep concentrating on saying "Snape" instead of "Severus". If she all of a sudden seemed to be on a first name basis with the death eater turned spy, Mad-eye of all people would notice. Over the years of mentorships she had become used to both his gruff nature and his magical eye. It had unnerved her at first. She felt like he always knew what she was doing, what she was thinking. She had solved that by never having to hide anything. Now?

"Is everything alright, Nyphadora?" His gravel voice asked next to her as they walked up the sidewalk toward 12 Grimmuald place. _Blast! I knew he was looking at me!_ Tonks gave him a sharp look for using her first name as she scrambled to come up with a reply.

"Lupin is safe, he arrived early this morning."

She came to an abrupt stop, the statement catching her completely off guard._Lupin. Remus. Safe…Right._ In the past, Remus' monthly departures had left her worried and frazzled. She often threw herself into her work while he was away as a method of distracting her from wondering what new scratches and scars would be there when he returned. Because of this, Mad-eye had noticed and often indulged her need to stay focused with added assignments. Thanks to her new duty at Hogwarts she had kept busy in many ways. _The least of which being my actual duty of patrolling._ Tonks scolded herself, understanding why Mad-eye was worried. Given her debrief, her last week or so had been rather uneventful. A few dark items and one injured Order member was, unfortunately, small when facing the ever encroaching possibility of open wizarding warfare. However, instead of her usual worry, she hadn't thought about Remus' safety once. Their relationship? Yes. How she wanted to throttle him? Numerous times. But if he was okay? Guilt ran through her as she realized that, for the first time, she hadn't considered his safety or the possibility of him not returning. She had been too busy seeing to Severus' safety and scars at the time.

Tonks tried to force her frown into a smile as she shrugged off Mad-eye's question and continued walking toward the front steps of the house that was slowly appearing.

Mad-eye followed, determining to keep a closer eye on her, but knowing better than to press the issue. He had seen her lose her temper before thanks to his prying questions. She had been right then; she wasn't a criminal needing interrogation, she was a fellow auror who had a right to her privacy. He was simply her mentor, albeit a mentor who cared deeply for her. "Stupid wolf," he cursed quietly. _If Lupin can't see what an amazing witch she is then he can go fig himself. I just sure as hell don't want to see her get hurt because of him._ Mad-eye thought as he entered the house, his eye swiveling around to ensure that the street was clear and no one outside had seen anyone enter.

Tonks worked her way through the house. Already a sheet had been thrown over Mrs. Black's portrait. Her typically screeching rants diminished to grumbles, "Filthy mudbloods…soiling my house…eating my food…you should all be poisoned…All half-bloods and blood traitors as well…nothing is pure anymore…" It was always such a lovely experience to hear from her great aunt. _My family is a bloody mess._ Tonks sighed as the voice faded and she continued toward the rumble of voices coming from the dining room.

Pushing open the door, she entered, holding the door open for Mad-eye as she glanced around quickly to see who was here and what seats were open. Severus was sitting in his typical dark corner. However, instead of his usual disinterested and aloof gaze, sometimes even disdainful sneer, he was glaring daggers at a cat that seemed perfectly happy to have his full attention as it rubbed back and forth against his black pant leg. The cat also had Minerva's full attention. A slight smile on her lips as if she couldn't be more pleased with the feline's current hobby.

Next, sat the majority of the Weasley clan. A seat was left open for Molly, who was still serving tea. Ever the nurturing figure, she was currently talking to Remus discussing tea that aided health, recovery and energy. Tonks couldn't help noticing the grey look of his skin or the tired look in his eyes or the fact that he was located in his usual spot at the opposite end of the table from Snape, which forced her to look for seats in the middle when she would preferred to have a comfortable distance from both of them rather than stuck in between. Glancing around one last time as she took her seat she realized what was off, Albus still hadn't arrived. _Guess I wasn't late or the last to arrive after all._


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: SPOV

* * *

As Molly served everyone drinks, the fireplace roared to life and Albus stepped through. His cursed finger had spread to his wrist now, yet he kept a habit of using his sleeves to hide the unsightly truth that his death was near.

Only Severus knew that Albus' days were numbered, and that his demise was held in the hands of the one person that most of the Order didn't fully trust. It was Snape's own stubbornness to keep the reasoning behind his loyalty a complete secret that would be his undoing among his colleagues, yet now it was vital to Albus' plan that they not know.

Mad Eye's magical eye affixed to Snape's arm, then moved to his face. "How did you get your arm skinned, Snape?"

Molly shuddered at the thought of it as Severus kept his calm. "I displeased The Dark Lord."

"How? Unable to deliver more members of the Order to him?" Moody spat, his distrust evident.

Albus spoke up, ending the discussion. "I know what has happened, and that must be sufficient. Severus is not about to betray anyone in the Order any more than I am."

Mad Eye's gaze changed to Dumbledore, and Severus took the moment to gaze at Nymphadora. She was looking at Remus concernedly. _He had to shift and live amongst his kind, obviously she is worried over him._ He thought to himself dejectedly.

Tonks' eyes met his for a fleeting moment, and he wasn't sure if his face was conveying anything. He lowered his eyes from hers pointedly, then flicked them away towards Arthur as if nothing had been conveyed between the two.

"Now, Remus, how goes your attempt to reach out to the werewolves? Do they know that they do not have to follow Greyback?" Albus carried on the business of the meeting as he would at any other time.

Severus' eyes turned to Lupin, and the barest corner of his mouth turned down in an attempt to frown. Noticing his action, he shoved his disinterested mask back into place roughly as he stared down at the cat that was attempting to get his attention.

Snape didn't listen to what Lupin had to say, other than it was going slowly and that most of the werewolves do not trust Wizardkind and follow Fenrir out of fear rather than respect. _Recruiting cowardly wolves to be the cannon fodder in the final days of the war; I know what you're up to you sick bastard. Those wandless do not even stand a chance._

"And Tonks," Albus continued, "how go the patrols of the grounds? Any weaknesses that you believe that may be exploited? Anywhere where our defenses might get penetrated?"

Snape turned his eyes to Nymphadora, knowing that he wouldn't be the only one. She seemed unable to respond immediately. _What is on her mind?_ He wondered idly, trying to decide what was going though her head.


	47. Chapter 47

A/N: TPOV

* * *

"Now, Remus, how goes your attempt to reach out to the werewolves? Do they know that they do not have to follow Greyback?"

Tonks looked at Remus, again noting how much this assignment was taking its toll on him. She understood why. The wolves who followed Greyback had long ago given up on fitting into society or had never longed to in the first place. They wanted a strong and formidable pack that would be challenged by no one and they needed an alpha who could provide that. Greyback fit the role almost perfectly. The one mark he had against him happened to be on his left forearm. The wolves didn't appreciate the forced alliance, but they were willing to put up with it if in the end they were on the side that won. To them the winning side would be the side with the most power.

Remus' assignment would have been simple enough if he was simply spying, gathering intelligence for the Order. However, he had the added duty of attempting to get the pack to change sides. This could be accomplished in one of two ways. Either he needed to beat Greyback and become the pack's alpha or he needed to try to convince them of the good side's power. Both could be argued to be lost causes. Looking at Remus now she knew if he went up against Greyback, one on one, no magic, who would win and it made her sick. Power? The wolves understood Voldemort's concept of power: firepower, power in numbers, in the willingness to do anything to win, in politics. They did not understand Dumbledore's statutes of love, loyalty, and good always triumphing over evil.

Remus sighed, taking a sip of the tea Molly had brought him, before responding. "The wolves will never betray Greyback as long as he is alive. They are worried that if they did he would be spiteful enough to personally hunt them down one by one. I have to admit their fears are valid.

I also wish it were as simple as killing him. Yes, he is a very powerful werewolf, but he is still mortal. The problem lies in the vacuum of power that would exist after his fall. Whomever stood up to fill that void would have to be willing to lead that pack to their dying day as well as be able to defeat anyone who got it in their mind that they all of a sudden wanted to be the alpha. There are many strong wolves in the pack, but most either don't want to face Greyback or only want the power, not the responsibility that goes with the position. I have been trying to spark rebellion within the ranks but gaining trust is a long and slow process. At the least they fear I am trying to convince them of a suicide mission and at the most, since Greyback turned me, they fear that I am simply a ploy of Greyback's to weed out who is loyal and who isn't. Needless to say many more moons are going to be required for any headway to take place."

Tonks heart broke for Remus as he sat down, looking as if he had just assigned himself to a fate worst that Azkaban. She wanted to go to him, to hug him and hold him tight. She wanted to convince him that it would all work out in the end, to be the strength that he could take with him in his heart when he had to leave again.

"And Tonks," Albus continued, "how go the patrols of the grounds? Any weaknesses that you believe that may be exploited? Anywhere where our defenses might get penetrated?"

The image in her mind morphed from her holding Remus and offering comfort to her trying to comfort Severus' weakened and bloody form. In that moment she had never hated this war more. She just wanted them both to be safe. _Not that them safe uncomplicated things any._ She scolded. Realizing everyone's eyes were on her, she cleared her throat in an attempt to clear her mind. She looked directly at Albus, scanning right or left briefly so as not to let herself focus on any of the three wizards, Remus, Severus, and Mad-eye, gazes she currently felt were burning holes right through her.

"So far I have been unable to find anything concerning the basics of the castle structure. The magical perimeter around the castle grounds has been tested daily by the other aurors and myself. The halls are patrolled on a daily basis.

What we would like to start to focus in on are the more peculiar aspects of the grounds. The secret tunnels, corridors and rooms. Obviously these are only as threatening as our enemies' knowledge of them. However, Albus…you have mentioned before that while Voldemort was a student at Hogwarts he knew of many of these intricacies, the Chamber of Secrets being the most obvious. I am of the understanding that the actual hidden routes on and off the castle grounds have been sealed?" Albus nodded his head briefly in confirmation. "With that in mind I can only foresee some of the other hidden areas presenting a leak in our defenses. Once I have that list I will assign one or two of the areas to each auror, so that they may become familiar with the location and be able to notice any changes if, when, and as soon as they take place."

Tonks risked a glance at Mad-eye who smiled at her approvingly. The moment she caught her gaze focusing on the dark and intent figure seated in the corner behind Mad-eye she snapped her attention back to Albus.

"I will have that list to you as soon as I can Tonks, I may have to consult with Hogwarts staff to ensure it is complete and I haven't forgotten anything. As soon as it is ready I would like you to visit my office so that we can go over it there. I am sure you understand why, even if delivered by patronus, I am hesitant to let such a list leave Hogwarts grounds." Albus responded gravely.

"I understand completely and will make sure that the other aurors are similarly briefed on Hogwarts grounds." Tonks responded, nodding her head respectfully before taking a sip of her peppermint tea. A certain level of excitement mixed within her at the prospect of exploring the castle in such a way. It was something, that as a student, she would have reeked absolute havoc to have had the chance to do. She just wished the opportunity had less dire consequences should she miss anything.


	48. Chapter 48

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus found himself distracted as his eyes swept over Nymphadora and what he would be willing to do to her if he could tie her down to this table. His wand would be slowly severing off her shirt as his lips ran their way down her exposed flesh, and he'd expertly apply a stinging hex to arouse her... perhaps make her beg for him to slide his tongue inside her possessively...

_Sev, quit thinking like a randy teen._ He chastised himself. _Though it would be a bit amusing if Remus were to walk in on that... I'll have to think of a well-polished insult if that should ever happen._

"...Once I have that list I will assign one or two of the areas to each auror, so that they may become familiar with the location and be able to notice any changes if, when, and as soon as they take place." Nymphadora had been reporting the state of the school. Maybe she would make sure that she has to patrol areas near the dungeons.

As his eyes made contact with hers, it was only for the smallest fraction of a second. But he was sure that it had conveyed more than he ever meant to. He bit his bottom lip slightly, flicking his eyes away from hers as if nothing had happened.

_Was something happening?_ He wondered, realizing that the meeting was now being dismissed by Albus. After the meetings, members were known to stay for a bit and chat each other up since they couldn't be seen interacting too much in the outside world.

Severus took to the kitchen to pour himself a brandy, where Molly found him and asked her usual question.

"How are my kids, Severus?" She asked, lines of worry evident on her face.

"Ginevra is surpassing her classmates, possibly thanks to her having to face off against your twins. As for Ronald... he has been taken with some lass and Miss Granger doesn't seem to approve, judging by the content of his last essay. He's depended on her revising for far too long to give up now."

Molly nodded her concern. "Ginny did tell me that she was getting tired of hearing screeches of 'lav-lav' and 'won-won' in their common room..."

"I can sneak a bit of a potion into his breakfast to make him think with his brain rather than his libido, if you wish..." Severus smirked slightly, knowing that Molly understood his dry sarcastic wit.

Molly shook her head. "Arthur could have used some of that in our seventh year... Thank you, Severus."

He nodded, leaving the kitchen and heading to the library. It was a narrow hallway, and the hushed whispers between Lupin and Nymphadora were obvious to the Potions' Master.

He cleared his throat just enough for them to silence themselves, and Severus approached the pair.

"Pardon me, Nyphadora, I was just on my way to the library for a bit of reading." He turned towards Remus, nodding politely. "Lupin." As he walked past them, he took a deep breath, savoring her scent.

As he got into the library, he closed the door a bit louder than he needed to, ensuring that they had their privacy. After his ghost of a kiss earlier with her, all he had wanted to do was to slam her up against a wall and claim her as his own.


	49. Chapter 49

A/N: TPOV

* * *

As the meeting dismissed, Tonks had wanted to leave as soon as possible, but found herself discussing various fortification strategies with Kingsley.

"Given what we know of the Dark Lord's forces, is it still most likely that, should a full attack happen, it will be from the Forbidden Forest?" She asked, thinking of how much of the castle faced the water. The lake could either prove to be one of the castle's greatest strengths or greatest weaknesses.

"Given what we know? Yes, that still seems most likely. However, it wouldn't hurt to look into ways of counteracting an attack from the water. All of Voldemort's forces seem land based, but in the end, the attack that we are most vulnerable to is the one we didn't prepare for. Look up our various options and let me know what you find. Keep up the good work Tonks." Kingsley smiled at her, his hand squeezing her shoulder encouragingly before turning to try and catch Albus before he left.

Tonks watched him walk away and noticed that Remus had just finished the conversation he was in. As their eyes met, Tonks cursed under her breath and headed through the door and out into the hallway. A hand closed around her upper arm, not tight enough to hurt, but tight enough that she couldn't simply pull away and keep walking. Spinning to face the minor encumbrance she found herself glaring darkly up into the face of Remus Lupin. Instead of her glare lessening, it deepened rather considerably as her eyes flickered from his face to his hand wrapped around her arm and back again.

Remus' eyes widened slightly at the fire that was held in her eyes as she looked up at him. He had never seen her so furious, especially at him. As her eyes flickered down to his hand he held on for just a second more, partially because he loved the feel of her and partially because he was afraid that if he let go she would retreat again. "Nym…" Her eyes narrowed into slits. "Tonks, we need to talk."

"Talk? We need to TALK! Last I heard from you, you didn't want to talk. You wanted me to leave you alone. Now that that is _exactly_ what I am doing, you want to _talk._" Tonks whispered furiously, spitting out the last word as if it were a curse. She hadn't realized until his back hit the wall that she had slowly and determinedly been advancing on him.

Remus looked down at her with a sense of wonder. He had seen her in battle and truly appreciated her skill, but looking at her now? This impassioned, albeit furious witch in front of him could only be characterized as exquisite. He wondered what that furious look would turn into if he were to grasp her face and kiss her. Her face was close enough that it wouldn't take much to close the distance. A throat clearing forced his attention elsewhere. _Snape._

"Pardon me, Nyphadora, I was just on my way to the library for a bit of reading."

Tonks moved to the side allowing Severus room to pass, thankful for the intervention. She hadn't realized just how close she was to throttling Remus. She smiled, inhaling deeply using Severus' brief presence as a calming force. She leaned back against the other side of the hallway watching Severus and Remus exchange overly polite and curt greetings.

"So what is it Remus?" She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Do you want talk or not? Because I can't do both. "

Looking at her now, Remus knew exactly what he wanted to do, but what he should do? Yes he wanted her, but he wasn't what he wanted for her. He wanted to give her a safe and stable life, something he couldn't provide. It made sense when he was away from her, like when he wrote that letter to her. But when she was standing before him, or when she was as close to him as she was earlier, even when she had been three chairs down from him, logically briefing Hogwarts security? The raging objections that plagued his mind reduced to whispers.

"I…I don't know." He admitted honestly, immediately regretting his words as he saw the hurt look that crossed her face. He tried to go to her and this time it was her that retreated, forcing him to stop.

"That's not good enough." Tonks whispered, the pain evident in her voice, as her arms wrapped around herself. "You know where I stand Remus, but I don't know where you do and obviously neither do you. When you finally figure that out let me know." Tonks turned away from him, leaving him standing in the hallway.

Remus watched her leave before turning back towards the kitchen. He knew better than to follow her right now and could really use some more of Molly's tea and maybe a bite or two of chocolate. He felt as drained as he would after a dementor attack. In fact, he would rather face a dementor than see that hurt look ever cross her features, let alone be the cause of it. Molly gave him a sympathetic smile as she refilled his glass, before returning to her discussion with Arthur about Ron's latest crush.

Tonks headed for the library, desperate to get away from everyone and just have someplace quiet to think. Knowing that if she left this early it would simply create more questions, questions she didn't feel like answering just yet…if ever. She pushed open the door and froze. She had been so focused on Remus that she hadn't truly registered when Severus had said about going to the library. "Ahhh…" She glanced from Severus to the now shut door and back again, knowing she had nowhere else to retreat to. She ducted her head while heading toward the bookcase, purposefully turning her back to him so that maybe he wouldn't realize just how frazzled she was. _Please don't ask. Please._


	50. Chapter 50

A/N: SPOV

* * *

If Severus were a good man, he wouldn't have been listening in. But he was who he was, and he was concerned for her first and foremost.

Lupin wanted to talk to her, but kept pushing her away. _The young witch's emotions aren't some sort of muggle yo-yo for someone to play with and not expect any kind of backlash._

As he stood by the door, her words hit him with a level of honesty that she might not ever want to admit to him in person. He used the same listening charm that the Weasley Twins developed for the extendable ears, knowing that it was probably inappropriate but wasn't concerned with the moralities of others.

"That's not good enough." Tonks whispered, almost hoarse with pain. "You know where I stand Remus, but I don't know where you do and obviously neither do you. When you finally figure that out let me know." He heard her footfalls grow louder, so he ended the charm and sat himself by his brandy.

She strode in, and her sweeping gaze fell on Severus as he kept his eyes on the periodical in front of him, waiting to see if she was going to say anything. She looked to the door and resigned herself to face a bookcase, with her back towards him.

Severus put down his reading, sipped his brandy, and silently locked the door with his wand.

_How do I approach this?_ He thought idly, knowing that she wouldn't want to speak about it. He approached her slowly, and saw her tense up slightly.

"I locked the door; you need not speak up about it if you do not wish to." _Dare I do this?_ He swallowed hard, and took a breath before he continued. "I would like to take your mind off of such matters, if you would allow me, Nymphadora."

After what felt like the longest pause in his life, she had responded with a curt nod. He raised his hand and threaded it through her hair, clamping onto a fistful. With a sharp tug, he pulled her into his arms and embraced her tightly.

"I promise to do all that I can to make you feel safe, wanted, and desired. I am willing to do this as your Dominant, to take away the burdens of your life, no matter how temporarily, so that you can be happy. Even if for only mere moments. I will be here for you." Releasing her, her spun her around roughly and pinned her against the bookshelf, locking eyes with hers. He let his mask fall and showed her his desire and his sheer force of will. He closed the distance between them, his nose grazing hers as his lips were mere millimeters from hers.

"I wish to take you in so many ways, and to have you serve me in ways that you've only dreamed of in your most wicked fantasies. Such frank and open honesty from me is something that few ever get to see, but is the one thing that I can offer you as your Dominant."

His body was demanding that he kiss her, but he knew it would be pushing her too far. It would be her decision that mattered, not the raging insecurities of an unworthy man that kept pushing her away yet pulling her back for more emotional torment.


	51. Chapter 51

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks' eyes scanned the titles listed, but she wasn't actually reading a single one. Instead she was focused on the rustle of paper she heard behind her, the rush of leather from the chair as the one who was sitting in it stood, the soft footfalls behind her, the unmistakable buzz of energy as he got close enough behind her for his aura to touch hers.

"I locked the door; you need not speak up about it if you do not wish to. I would like to take your mind off of such matters, if you would allow me, Nymphadora."

Tonks was still recovering from the red not fury that had turned into an icy emptiness. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to lean back into Severus and listen to his voice telling her it would be alright for the rest of eternity. In the end all she could manage was a brief nod, still trying to hold everything back. Before she could do anything else she felt his hand fisting in her hair and pulling her back. A gasp escaped her lips as she was pulled back into his arms. _Merlin I need this._ She thought, the sharp pain helping dull her anger as his embrace helped thaw out the ice that had begun to form around the edges of her heart.

"I promise to do all that I can to make you feel safe, wanted, and desired. I am willing to do this as your Dominant, to take away the burdens of your life, no matter how temporarily, so that you can be happy. Even if for only mere moments. I will be here for you."

Tonks wanted nothing more than to embrace him in return for saying those words. As much as she thought she needed the pain and embrace, she realized that she had been wrong. This is what she had needed. She needed to be told that regardless of everything one person, one singular person was willing to be there for her no matter what. Before she could respond he spun her around and pinned her against the bookcase, a stack of books falling on their side in complaint. Her eyes were slightly unfocused as she looked up into his face, surprised at the amount of emotion and passion she saw there. She couldn't remember a time when she had seen him so unguarded.

"I wish to take you in so many ways, and to have you serve me in ways that you've only dreamed of in your most wicked fantasies. Such frank and open honesty from me is something that few ever get to see, but is the one thing that I can offer you as your Dominant."

Her lips parted slightly at what he described and her attention was divided between what his lips had to say and how close they were. In that moment she could only see him, only think about him. Answering his unasked questions, her body pulled futilely against the bonds created by his hands as her head thrust forward and eliminated the distance between them. Her lips found his and she immediately adored the spicy taste of him, marked with a hint of brandy. A slight moan escaped her lips, creating a warm caress against his. Her tongue darted out playfully, tempting him.


	52. Chapter 52

A/N: SPOV

* * *

He was captivated by her, and needed to know if she was willing. She had nodded, and he had bared himself to her in a way that he had only done once before.

But as much as he wanted her kiss, what he needed was her trust and acceptance. Her submission would convey that, but he at least needed to know that he was needed by her.

Her taste was sweet and warm; not overly sweet, just a delicious flavor that he was able to savor as she was against the bookshelf. He thought hearing her moan would undo him; he had quite a fetish for the sounds he could make another utter under his control.

But the flick of her tongue had excited him, making him reply in kind. His passion was being forced to be unleashed; he wasn't used to the intensity that he seemed to have tonight, but was willing to go with it. She was responding and he wanted to claim her. _Her neck is oh so naked,_ he thought playfully as he pulled away from her lips, chuckling with that look of dark masculine knowledge in his eyes.

"Witch, I'm very tempted to take you home and chain you to my bed 'till morning." He paused, collecting himself slightly. "But that would be inappropriate without having terms discussed, contracts written out, and a full review of your list. That all being said, it is late. And I'm not sure if you share a room with another Auror, I doubt the Ministry spared the expense.

"You do not belong to me as of yet, and that is why I am being so cautious. Suggestive, yes." He kissed her lips quickly. "Assertive, obviously." His lips and teeth took a firm hold of her neck and he savored the noises she was making. "Possessive..." He clamped his hands onto the smallest part of her waist, the closeness of their bodies proved to her how aroused he had become. "...only if you agree to it, my dear."

He stepped away from her, feeling winded as if he had flown a marathon. His body tingled, aching with need to be with her again. To assert himself over her, within her, and collar her as his own.

Taking his wand in his hand, he unlocked the library, and went over to finish his brandy.

"If you come to my quarters tonight, I shall devour you and quench a desire that has been long ignored within myself. I will equally strive to bring you wholly and completely if you wish it. If at any time you wish me to cease, say the word and I shall."

Severus' burning gaze at her ended as he closed his eyes for a few seconds, pressed his lips shut, and summoned his blank mask of indifference as he strode out of the library.

A voice called out, "I didn't know you were still here, Severus."

"Not any longer." He replied, slamming the door as he left, freeing the portrait to screech at her black little heart's content.

"FILTH! MUDBLOOD LOVERS AND TRAITORS TO THE OLD WAYS!"

With Mrs. Black screaming, nobody could hear the gentle pop of apparition as Severus went back to his quarters, unsure of where the night would take him.


	53. Chapter 53

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks knew she couldn't exit the library right after Severus. She picked up a book just in case someone walked in and tried to use her reflection in the glass of the coffee table to smooth out her hair and calm her expression. She cast a concealment charm on the pink mark on her neck left by his teeth and lips. Waiting just long enough to ensure the coast was clear, she ducked out amidst the commotion of trying to once again quiet her great aunt. Just as she was about to apparate back to her room, to retrieve her list, a voice called out from the shadows of the hallway.

"Nymphadora, a moment please."

Tonks turned quickly, just in time to Mad-eye's form limp from the darkness. She was glad she had the now old comeback to resort to since she felt very much like she had just been caught, "Tonks, Mad-eye. My name is Tonks."

Mad-eye ignored her. "Eh…Is…Is everything alright? With Lupin, I mean?"

Tonks tried hard not to sigh in relief and felt her face soften when she realized the honest concern that was present in his voice, even if he wasn't the best at showing it. "It's…It's complicated." She answered truthfully.

"Right. Well don't let him get to you." He smiled reassuringly.

She smiled back. "It's been a long day Mad-eye. I just need to go back to my room."

"Well you know you can contact me if you ever need to."

She smiled at him again, "Of course." She said before apparating back to her room, glad he hadn't asked too many questions and she was able to keep her responses general and honest.

Once back in her room she quickly gathered up her "homework" to give to Severus, the images from the library running around in her mind, his taste still on her lips. She knew he was waiting on her, possibly unsure if she would even show. At this moment she couldn't think of the slightest reason why she shouldn't, nor could she recall the last time she had felt this reckless or this excited.

She removed the concealment charm from the mark on her neck, smirking at herself in the mirror. Looking at the broader view of her reflection she wished she had something more "appropriate" to wear. She had no idea what Severus found attractive, but she highly doubted that pants, combat boots and a Weird Sisters t-shirt constituted as sexy, submissive attire. Glancing at her closet she knew it was a lost cause. She had never really favored sexy clothes in the first place and even so, she had packed for patrols and duty. On the other hand, he hadn't seemed to mind what she was wearing back in the library. _The Library._ She grinned broadly as she recalled their kiss, held the list close, and apparated to the gates of Hogwarts.

Sticking to the shadows she quickly made her way across the grounds and through the castle, only having to quickly scold one Gryffindor third-year who was out past curfew. She felt like a student herself as she approached Severus' office and quarters. She had always worked hard when given an assignment and always cared deeply about a professor's response to and approval of any given work. It was that characteristic, along with her unyielding sense of loyalty, that had placed her in Hufflepuff. Even so, very few things in her life had ever seemed to carry the weight that the "homework" she currently held in her hands did. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door, trying to school her emotions, that were caught somewhere between the desire to jump up and down or run away, into something a bit more dignified. _Leave it to me to be able to calmly face Death Eaters, but knock on a door? That has me running scared._ Her mind tried to argue that behind this door were chains, a bed, implements of pain and pleasure and a man who knew how to use them all and use them well. She was about continue the inner argument when the door started to open and her mind went blank.


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus had come back to his rooms and took a cold shower. He needed his faculties together if she did show up. _Thank goodness for checklists,_ he thought to himself.

She didn't give him her list yet, so he would have to be improvisational and not delve too far into things that he wasn't sure she'd like. He would tailor her next experience to the list he would receive.

_Towel, check. Blanket, check. Floggers Salazar and Slytherin, check. Manacles and chain, check. Clamps, check. Collar..._ He dried himself off, charmed his hair back and secured it with a ribbon, and realized that he shouldn't push her that far so soon. Slipping into his leather pants and belt, he went to check his potions as well. _Oh. That should make things quite interesting._

Before he felt ready, there was a knock on his door. He went to the door, knowing who it was, and opened it.

He stood before her clad in nothing but his favorite leather pants and a belt. He never knew what to wear in order to be sexy for another, so he resorted to wearing what he was comfortable in. He'd be willing to play in his regular teaching robes, but he wasn't sure if she would be okay with that. The pants were snug yet gave him mobility, and he knew that he had an arse to show off in them. Considering how much he liked to use his hands, he preferred being topless so that nothing restricted his movement. And unlike other Dominants he remembered from play parties in his past, he was smooth and toned, albeit pale. _At least I don't need to have my back or chest waxed._

"Enter, Nymphadora." He said, using his voice to its fullest extent to arouse her. She came in, and he surveyed her as he closed the door and warded it. Taking another second, he also warded the fireplace. _No distractions tonight._

He smiled at her choice of clothing. She chose to be functional yet visually appealing, much like himself. She had black pants tucked into her black boots, they seemed oddly muggle yet comfortable. She wore a hot pink Weird Sisters shirt, obviously to match her hair. He wondered if he could ever get her in a skirt. In her hand was a piece of parchment, obviously his assigned homework, which he graciously took from her and left on his desk.

"Thank you for this, however, for tonight, I will simply be giving you a taste of what I can do for you. I shall endeavor to customize such future sessions towards each of our own proclivities. Follow me."

He wondered what she was thinking as she saw him, or when she walked into his bedroom and saw the wrought-iron four poster bed. Laid out on the bed was an assortment of toys; the manacles with built-in cushioning charms, a triplet of clamps, his twin floggers, a tray of various potions, a small towel, and spelled chains that would link to anything he desired.

The look on her face was reward enough. He smiled slightly as he took a potion for himself. She looked at him curiously before he replied her unasked question.

"Ah, it is a contraception potion that I devised; it has quite the desirable side-effect of virility." He took his wand and blindfolded her, then closed the distance so that his lips traced her ear as he whispered to her.

"I am going to have my way with you. I will use you, hurt you, pleasure you, and hopefully make you want more. If at any time you wish for me to stop, merely utter 'red'. Or 'Umbridge'. Other than that, you will not speak unless spoken to. Is that understood?" She nodded, almost excitiedly. He then removed her shirt and left it folded by the bed. He saw her hot pink bra, and chuckled warmly at it.

"I see that you do enjoy the color pink, Nymphadora." Severus removed her pants and boots with another spell, leaving her a bit vulnerable as she stood nearly starkers before him, blindfolded.

He paced around her, drinking in her physique with his eyes. He slapped her bum with his left hand, and was pleased with the way she startled at the sensation. He moaned appreciatively and gave her arse another swat, but this time with more force.

Her forced exhalation of breath was nearly a shudder in pleasure, and he took his wand out and decided to use a weak stinging hex. It was a common spell when you were in fights while in school and didn't hurt that much unless you got caught in the face with it, but it was a very different sensation when employed this way.

Her moan of excitement egged him on, and he threw another stinging hex on her other cheek. A small red welt appeared, and he used his right hand to smack just below that, where the bum meets the thigh. He left his hand upon her bum, tracing down the line of her right thigh and then grazed his fingernails up the inside of her left one. Tracing her mound, he felt her wetness beginning to seep through.

"My, you're already getting wet. Whatever shall I do with you?" Putting his wand aside, he smacked her bum with his entire hand. He cupped her cheek, squeezing a bit of pressure as he directed bloodflow back to her bum as he spelled her bra off. She covered her breasts with her arms instantly, perhaps a bit nervously.

"Oh no you don't, Nymphadora." His voice caressed her as he put a manacle on either wrist, "you're going to let yourself be exposed and pleased while under my duress." As he lifted her arms to the tops of the bed frame, the chains attached and she was only able to shift her arms slightly. If he wasn't mistaken, her struggling against the chains was arousing her all the more.

He summoned a potion bottle, and began to lower her last bit of clothing by hand. She had a beautiful set of hips, and his fingers trailed as gravity took over the last bit of disrobing her. He applied the minty potion to her bum and rubbed it into her skin. It went on as a bit cold, then warmed up as her skin tingled and her nerves were made hypersensitive. With a daring stroke of his finger, he put a bit of the salve over her clitoris. Her instant response to the contact told him that he was indeed working her up good and proper.

Severus took a look at his remaining toys that he had left out. _Salazar and Slytherin won't be used this time,_ he thought sadly, _but the clamps will most surely make an appearance._

Swatting her ass a few more times, he noticed how the muscles in her legs were tensing up as she arched herself into the blows. She was definitely wanting this, and he wasn't about to let her get too complacent.

"Spread your legs apart more." He directed, and she complied almost immediately. He went to his knees and summoned the clamps to his hand. Lightly pinching her clitoris, he put the clamp right behind it, forcing the clitoris to poke out from its protective hood. He then blew over the clit, knowing how the potion would react to it as she stood there. Standing back up, he placed the other two clamps on either nipple, licking the very tip of each one. She'd wonder how his tongue would feel on her down there now as he resumed spanking her arse. With the nerves more sensitive, he'd occasionally reach between her legs and flick the clamp below, knowing that she was losing control over herself.

"frig me." she muttered as the clamp sent shocks of pleasure through her. Severus smiled, removing the nipple clamps while expertly nibbling on them.

"Not yet, Nymphadora. And you will refer to me as Sir while we are in session." He wasn't sure if she had replied or not since the sound of his hand spanking her arse made a sharp and almost painful sound. Pleased that she was enjoying this level of pain, he hit her with a few more stinging hexes. He released her manacles from the chains and instead latched them onto each other behind her back. Moving a pillow into the way, he bent her over the foot of his bed and had her face-first into the pillow, his hand firmly holding her down as her bum was up in the air. He removed the clamp and pointed his wand directly on her clitoris, making his wand vibrate upon contact.

Her grunts of pleasure were like music to his ears, and he removed his wand in order to vanish his leather pants and let free his frustratingly hard erection. He didn't care that it was grazing her hip as he slowly put two fingers inside her as she silently begged for more.

"Would you rather I fucked you like a little slut?" He asked her, teasing her with his fingers.

Her frantic nodding was all that he needed as he plunged himself into her. He wasn't much above average in size from what he had heard, but his girth was another matter entirely. Because of it, every witch he fucked felt tight to him. Few felt like they were clamping down like a vice once he had entered. She, however, had.

"Bugger, you're tight." He resumed the vibrational charm on her as he slowly fucked her from behind. The view of her, bent over and cuffed, was enough to make him come on his own. But he wanted to be sure he made her beg for release. He cast a lubrication charm on her other opening, and gently put a bit of pressure with his thumb there as he quickened his rhythm in penetrating her.

"Do it." Her reply was nearly frantic, but he understood what she was begging for. He slipped his thumb inside her and instantly felt her grip seize upon him as he kept sliding in and out of her.

Her arms convulsed and fought her restraints as she shook beneath him, screaming wantonly as she orgasmed with reckless abandon. Propriety didn't matter anymore, her body was beaten and turned into a bundle of pent-up nerves yearning for release. He understood that this time, it wasn't about making love as much as it was about fucking. They both had ached for too long and sought relief. Her legs were wobbly at this point, and as he pulled out and cast a cleansing charm on himself, he made her upright herself as he playfully smacked her bum one more time.

He removed her blindfold and enjoyed the glazed look in her eyes. His turgid member ached to be re-sheathed within her. It took a lot of self restraint not to simply open her mouth and shove himself deep within her. He wanted her to do this.

"I am not undone yet, Nymphadora. On your knees as I have described before."

"Yes, Sir."


	55. Chapter 55

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks blinked, her eyes trying to adjust to the glowing candle light in the room. Every nerve in her body felt on edge.

"I am not undone yet, Nymphadora. On your knees as I have described before."

"Yes, Sir." She purred in response, as she slowly folded to her knees. She had never felt as graceful as when she knelt at his feet, spreading her thighs, keeping her back straight, her head slightly lowered. She moved to put her arms as he had taught her, but was quickly reminded of the cuffs on her wrists that were attached together. That small amount of confinement sent a thrill of excitement through her, forcing her to bite her lower lip to keep her from arching forward.

"Good girl." Severus intoned as his hand reached down, petting her hair gently, approvingly.

As the back of his hand trailed down her hair, she moved her face to the side, slightly kissing his fingers and teasing them with the tip of her tongue. She looked up through her eyelashes watching for his reaction. His eyes had closed and a moan escaped his lips. His hand pulled back and she caught the tip of a finger between her lips, sucking gently. A tight hiss escaped his lips. His hand moved and fisted in her hair, forcing her to look at him.

"Witch, you're testing me and as soft as those teasing lips are, I think they need to be put to better use." He growled out, the sparkle in his eyes showing her he was more amused than frustrated. Although, she also knew she would be pressing her luck if she continued in such a way.

Her tongue darted out wetting her lips as she leaned forward and took his cock in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the tip. As she took him deeper she could feel every moan he made as it rumbled through his body. The rich scent of leather mixed with his musky scent and filled her nose, causing a pleasurable cloud to form in her mind. She could feel herself getting wetter with the knowledge that she was bringing him pleasure. She moaned against his cock, her lips vibrating around his shaft.

Leaning in, she took him deeper, opening her throat. She held herself close to him until her body demanded air, forcing herself to pull back. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she pulled in from her nose, slightly light headed from the oxygen deprivation. Her head continued traveling up and down his cock, moving out to circle the tip with her tongue before taking him deep again. She felt his body jerk before feeling his hands twist in her hair pulling her close. She pulled against her restraints wanting so much to hold him close just as he held her close. His hips thrust in her mouth and she took him greedily, loving his smell, his taste.

Tonks pulled back, gently sucking his cock as he finished. Another moan vibrated from her lips down his cock as she noticed that he was becoming anything but soft.


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus was at the height of his frustration as she had him enveloped totally. And with that, he was nearing the peak of his release. He couldn't help but clench her hair as his hips spasmed involuntarily and his usual crash of pleasure was multiplied by the fact that she had _kept going._

In his experiences, the girl would pull away at the first sensation, or would stay for a second or two before reaching for a glass to spit into... but she endured like the tales of the succubus who would continue until they had every last bit of your life's essence.

She had moaned appreciatively as she realized that Severus' cock wasn't softening as she had expected.

"Did you not expect an encore? I am a Potions' Master." He pulled out his wand and detached the cuffs from each other. He cleared the bed of all his toys, and removed the cuffs from her wrists.

"You've been an extraordinarily good girl tonight, and deserve a reward." Extending his hand, she took it and stood before him. He guided her to the bed and she laid down on her back, unsure what he was about to do next.

The pillow that was under her head before was now just under her hips. Severus slithered onto the bed, spreading her legs apart and biting her inner thigh as his eyes locked onto hers wickedly.

His lips locked onto her clit and suckled it with an intensity as he slowly put three fingers into her. He smiled as her hands clamped onto his skull and her fingers seized onto the locks of his hair. As he alternated from suckling her with three fingers and using his tongue to penetrate her, he found his fingers going deeper each time.

Her flavor was heady and savory; he felt like he could stay down here for hours. Instead, he used his fourth finger inside her and loved the gasp that she made as he worked himself into her.

Shifting his weight, he crawled up the length of her body and suckled on her nipples as his hand was nearly fisting her to her bottom knuckles.

She was crying out, and the sadist within him drank in the sight of her eyes tearing up as she could barely keep her head still.

He changed the rhythm of his hand, forcing his lips upon hers and letting his tongue convey her taste back to her. He was letting her taste herself and he greedily tasted himself on her mouth.

Her nails raked down his back as he let himself lay upon her, guiding himself inside her. Locking eyes, he witnessed the look on her face as he penetrated her. He would never get tired of seeing that expression.

He pumped his hips, and found his tip pressed against her cervix. It was a pleasurable pain for him, and he repeated the slow stroke only to harshly thrust the last inch into her. Over and over, he felt her thighs quivering as she tried to wrap her legs around him.

As he quickened his pace inside her, he had one hand seized on her breast while his other was latched onto her throat, squeezing gently.

"Mmmm. Mine." He murmured, sliding himself all the way into her at a fast, deep pattern as she moaned something unintelligible to him.

Her moans intensified as his speed increased, and her gripping spasms around his cock increased as she orgasmed. The sound and sensation alone had threw him into his own orgasm, feeling himself unload within her.

He melted into her as she melted into him, boneless and fully satisfied as he curled up behind her and held the Auror against him.

It was the first time in a long while that he was able to sleep throughout the night without utilizing a potion.


	57. Chapter 57

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks lay on Severus' bed in a daze, loving the sound of his steady breathing, the steady pulse of his heart. They were sounds she could listen to forever, along with the more guttural moans and the confident orders she had heard earlier. Her body was deliciously sore. Her ass stung and her muscles ached. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to move from this spot. Lying here, in his arms, she felt safe. Hugging his arms closer, she snuggled into his body as drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Tonks woke up early, feeling more rested than she had in ages. She tried to continue to doze, not wanting to disturb the current peace she had found. Finally she knew she couldn't stay any longer and slipped quietly out of Severus' arms, not wanting to wake him any earlier than he wanted. She moved quietly across the floor. Not seeing her black pants on the equally dark floor her feet tangled briefly causing her to trip. She cursed in a hushed whisper, freezing before glancing over her shoulder. Severus shifted in his sleep, but didn't wake up. Tonks let out a sigh.

She looked around the room, truly seeing it for the first time. She could remember back when she had been a student at Hogwarts and Severus had been her potions professor at the time. She had been an average student, neither performing poorly enough or well enough to stand out among her classmates. Although she may not have made an impression as a student, Severus had indeed made an impression on her at the time. Even back then, he had seemed like a mystery. She remembered wondering what a man like that did for fun, what his personal space looked like. _Now I know._ She smiled inwardly, thinking of last night.

The space was warmer than she had expected, dark, yes but warmer. The wood was a mix between ebony and mahogany. The fireplace and the candlelit sconces on the wall would provide a warm glow on the deep green walls. As it was there was a very low glow from the embers in the fireplace. Tonks found her wand in the discarded pile of her clothing. She quietly rekindled the fire, allowing the heat to fight against the chill of the dungeon. Seeing the kettle off to the side she cast_aguamenti_, filling the pot and placing it on the hook over the fire. As she looked around for tea she quickly realized that trying to find a simple breakfast blend in a potion's master's quarters could have dire consequences.

In the end she sent a request to the kitchen for dry tea and scones. On the end of the bed she noticed the folded blanket, picking it up and wrapping it around herself. Soon after, an elf appeared with a tray of scones and a selection of tea. She gently took the tray from the elf and whispered her thanks. Turning she realized Severus was awake and watching her closely. As she moved toward him, her hand holding the blanket let go, letting it fall. Placing the tray on the nightstand, she smiled warmly at him she crawled up on the bed.

"Morning, Sir."


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: SPOV

* * *

He stirred a few moments after she had gotten up from the bed. Not used to having someone so close to you made you notice such things, specially when your first instinct is to throw hexes first and ask questions later. His heart dropped as his first instinct was that she would simply leave now that they had recovered.

She had stoked the fire and was preparing to make tea. He smirked as he realized she would be looking for where he kept his tea. She rightfully paused and decided that it was better to simply have an elf bring some.

She was wrapped up in a blanket as Winky appeared with tea and scones. Severus frowned slightly, glad to see her in a better mood since she had been released by Barty Crouch Sr. _Sometimes all someone needs is service to keep them happy._ He thought as Nymphadora turned to see him.

With one hand, she had balanced the tray perfectly. The other was holding a blanket around her. He noted that this could end as a catastrophe, but saw how steady she was on her feet. _Could coitus be what keeps her from being so clumsy?_

She let the blanket go, and Severus' eyes flicked over her naked body as she put down the tray and slipped back into the bed with him.

"Morning, Sir."

He was impressed with her alright, and not just from last night's activities. She had thought to get two cups for tea. He sat up, adjusting his pillows to be comfortable.

"May I have a cup and some Earl Grey? The oil of bergamot leaves a pleasant taste with me." he requested, sweeping his hair back with a deft hand.

She handed him over the cup and the bag of tea, excusing herself to get the kettle by the fire. As she rose, his hand stilled her. _Such an innocuous touch feels different when in bed with her._

"That won't be necessary." He paused her, pointing his wand deftly into his cup. "Aguamenti sub-fervefacio." His wand had steaming water, just below boiling, slowly pour out of his wand as opposed to the water cannons that the Weasley Twins had perfected during Umbridge's reign of pink-clad terror. He chuckled at the memory, sipping at his cup.

"Your cup, please." She also sat up and handed him over a cup and he repeated the charm. "When you're not making a full potion that requires simmering, shortcuts like this are quite wonderful. I do, however, enjoy the knowledge that you would prepare your tea in a thoroughly muggle way. Before this charm was invented, it was all the rage for purebloods to brag about how well their House-elves could brew the perfect tea over a hearth fire."

He looked at her choice in tea and made of note of it. "I enjoy my tea 'black', no need for milk, sugar, lemon, or whatever has become the latest fashion." He gestured as if waving off an errant thought.

He set his cup down on the other side of the bed, next to a journal that he had been reading.

"If you are to stay the night in the future, I do enjoy being woken up with a nice cup waiting for me." His body jerked as he lunged behind his tea, pulling back what appeared to be a muggle wind-up alarm clock. Flipping a switch in the back, he disarmed the alarm function.

"No need for you to be startled by it. It's quite loud, I suspect that..." his voice trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. "It was a gift when I was still a student here; I believe that a sonorus charm was fixed to the bells." _Sev... don't turn your pillow talk into a memorial over Lily._

He smiled in that sad, almost frowning kind of way. "I'm not versed in the art of 'pillow talk', it seems. In fact, I had feared that you were on your way out, without saying a goodbye."

Severus realized that this was the most open he'd been with anyone when it came to his feelings, and he had a natural inclination to shove them back down and to put the mask back on.

"That being said," he seemed to pull himself out of his thoughts, "how are you doing this morning? Any excessive soreness or bruising that I may need to take care of? Any feedback that I should know about last night's assignation?"

He was being methodical, as when he had apprenticed under a different Potions' Master and was waiting for a scathing critique over his potion-brewing abilities. He reached back for his cup and sipped, realizing that he was in his defensive mode, guarded for an onslaught of sarcastic rhetoric.


	59. Chapter 59

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks tried hard not to make a face at his choice of Earl Grey. She had always found the taste too bitter and more jarring than calming. Instead she chose peppermint for herself. Looking over at the kettle she noticed it was just about ready. As she moved to go over to it Severus' touch stopped her.

"That won't be necessary. Aguamenti sub-fervefacio."

Tonks couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. She had never been very skilled with the more domestic spells, but she sure envied those who were. Her mother had finally given up trying to teach her. Warmth spread through her as he complimented her use of the kettle. She wasn't quite as enamored with muggle technology and methodology as Arthur Weasley, but she fully appreciated that certain things required less thought, concentration and talent when done the muggle way.

He asked for her cup and she handed it over, focusing on his explanation of the spell, followed by him detailing how he liked his tea. She hoped she would have another opportunity to use this knowledge.

As that thought crossed her mind she heard Severus reply, "If you are to stay the night in the future, I do enjoy being woken up with a nice cup waiting for me." She tried to hide the large grin on her face by taking a long sip of tea.

Severus lunged to the side and Tonks froze, instinctually trying to determine what was wrong and what she needed to do next. The last thing she was ready for was for him to produce a muggle alarm clock and fiddle with it to turn it off. "No need for you to be startled by it. It's quite loud, I suspect that..." Severus responded hurriedly, possibly due to the look of alarm on her face. She had no idea how he woke up to such things. The first time that went off in her room she would have cursed it into oblivion. She wasn't typically a morning person and was still wondering at how awake she currently felt. Wrapped up in her pleasant thoughts about the previous night and their lasting affects, she was caught off guard by his next statement.

"I'm not versed in the art of 'pillow talk', it seems. In fact, I had feared that you were on your way out, without saying a goodbye." Tonks wanted to immediately assure him that the thought had never crossed her mind, but just as quickly as he showed the fear in that statement he put up the emotional walls that were so often in place. "That being said, how are you doing this morning? Any excessive soreness or bruising that I may need to take care of? Any feedback that I should know about last night's assignation?"

She immediately recognized what he was doing, she did it herself. _Hell I did it yesterday when briefing the Order._ It was easier to communicate facts, devoid of emotion. Emotions always made things harder.

"Severus," She started as a way to get him focused on her rather than the factual details. "I feel great." She set her tea aside and moved closer looking him directly in the eyes. "You were wonderful. I awoke this morning more well-rested than I have felt in a long time and please know that I would never leave without saying goodbye. Yes I am sore," She noted his brief frown and continued quickly, "but I love and thank you for it. There isn't a single thing I would change other than I am eager to try more." She had moved close enough that the word "more" was a mere breath across his lips before closing the remaining distance and meeting his lips with hers and for once she didn't find the subtle taste of Earl Grey bitter in the slightest.


	60. Chapter 60

A/N: SPOV

* * *

Severus was in a near shock when she had said that she loved and thanked him for what they did. _This is real, not some lucid dream,_ he told himself. She wasn't about to leave him without saying goodbye, and it warmed him as he realized that maybe he could be happy, even if only for awhile.

_You're going to have to leave her without a goodbye._ He knew what his role would become before the school year ended. He cleared his mind of that, focusing on the current issues before him.

He had her list, and her in his bed. And she was eager to try more.

"Now, Nymphadora, you're here to protect the school. You're not allowed to shag my bollocks off. I require to do my morning ablutions before I go jogging in the Forbidden Forest."

Severus put down his tea, kissed her one last time before entering his shower.

Less than a few minutes later, he exclaimed in shock, then chuckled deeply.

"You impertinent Hufflepuff."

* * *

It was a busy week, and their schedules made it impossible for them to see each other. He had reviewed her list and had to relieve himself of his mounting desire late at night when he wasn't busy patrolling.

She had understandable hard limits, similar to his own. He didn't enjoy leaving any lasting marks, scarification, or dealing with any bodily fluids or children.

His memory went back to when she was in his Potion's classes; she had a penchant for oddly colored hair throughout most of her days in Hogwarts, settling on hot pink somewhere in her fifth or sixth year. He wasn't sure, and didn't want to consider the fact that she was his student nearly a decade ago.

They were supervising the students in Hogsmeade, and Severus was looking none too amused inside Zonko's Joke Shop. As he looked out the window to the snow-driven street, he wondered how Nymphadora was faring with the students.

"Mister Davies, you know for a fact that I will confiscate that item as soon as you walk into the castle." Severus glared and the student realized that Hogsmeade trips are less enjoyable with the extra protection.

Severus walked over to the shopgirl and paid for a package of licorice wands. _So I have a few bad habits, sue me_ he thought as he chewed on the licorice.

A piercing scream went through the air, and he had whipped out his wand and ran outside to the street, on high alert. _The Death Eaters wouldn't try to attack in the open, not until after I kill Dumbledore..._

He had his Berretta 92 on a muggle holster that was covered by his robes, knowing that his customized ammunition would kill anything he had to come across. It was his ace in the hole against purebloods, who thought that muggle technology was always inferior.

He saw Hagrid stomping over to the path back to the castle, picking up a student, and running back to Hogwarts. An Auror that Severus didn't know demanded that they all secure the students inside whichever building was closest, create a perimeter, and search for any Death Eaters.

_Is Nymphadora okay?_ He wondered, scouring the area of Hogsmeade for any hostile activity.


	61. Chapter 61

A/N: TPOV

* * *

Tonks stood leaning on a post at the beginning of the path that led to the Shrieking Shack. Her position had two roles. The first of which was to monitor the coming and goings of Hogsmeade, looking for suspicious activity. The second was to act as a visible deterrent to any Hogwarts student feeling adventurous. Somehow, saying something was off-limits only made people all the more likely to investigate. Even so, the only action that had taken place so far was her having to scold Harry for yelling at the top of his lungs outside the Three Broomsticks after coming in contact with Mundungus.

Apparently Mundungus was up to his old tricks and nicking things from Grimmauld place. She couldn't say she was surprised or that she didn't understand why Harry was upset. However, the last thing any of those guarding Hogsmeade needed right now was Harry yelling. At the least, it drew the guards' attention from other places it might be needed. At the most? It drew the enemy's attention to him. She finally managed to convince him to get out of the cold and into the inn with his friends, before returning to her post.

She had drawn the short stick when all those on patrol had chosen their positions. She nodded at MacKenzie as he headed for his watch inside the Hogs Head._Where it's warm._ Tonks shivered against the autumn chill. She had cast two warming charms already and the persistent wet chill continued to seep through. The first snow of the year had already fallen and left a white silent blanket over the surrounding land. It was that quiet that made the piercing scream, heard a few minutes later all the jarring. Everyone on patrol, including Tonks, froze trying to figure out where it was coming from, the scream seeming to echo across the terrain. As the scream continued the aurors and teachers scattered throughout Hogsmeade, quickly moved into action.

Tonks first instinct had been to run towards the scream, especially since Harry, Ron, and Hermione had passed her not moments before the scream shot through the quiet village. However, as she ran forward she saw that already two aurors were in front of her running up the path. Hogsmeade needed to be secured. If this was an attack it wasn't likely to end here. She ordered the students around her inside, making sure that each storefront, now full of terrified faces peering out, had at least one teacher or prefect to help keep the children calm and the situation under control. After ensuring that everyone was off the streets, she ran up the path to the Shrieking Shack. The passageway to Hogwarts was supposed to have been sealed, but with whatever was going on she didn't feel comfortable betting her life, let alone the lives of students on it.

Moving through the rickety shack she shivered in a way that had nothing to do with the overly crisp autumn air. As a student she had been told the shack was haunted. She now knew the supposed haunting had been Remus. _Doesn't make this place look or feel any less haunted._ She entered the house, peering into the darkness created by a lack of lighting and decades of dust. No sooner had she entered than she heard the subtle creek of a floorboard. Spinning to the side and pointing her wand ahead of her, she shouted "Lumos". As the tip of her wand lit up, she found herself face to face with a man with black eyes and fangs. _Vampire. Fuck!_ The two words were all she could think before she was slammed up against the threadbare walls of the shack.

As the vampire's crushing grip pinned both her arms to the wall, the light from her wand, still clutched tightly in her hand, but otherwise uselessly pointed out to side, cast enough of a glow to show the figure of a young girl lying on the ground motionless. _A feeding vampire…this day just get better and better._ Tonks grumbled to herself as she tried to come up with a plan and to see if the girl was still breathing. The vampire let out an angry hiss, snapping her attention back to him as his fangs elongated even more and he leaned in. _And he's not finished._Tonks thought as the first tendrils of actual panic ran through her. She knew she shouldn't fight. Struggling would encourage the vampire's predatory instincts and only make the situation worse. However, thanks to whatever else was going on, the streets were clear and the other aurors engaged. If she called for help no one would come.


End file.
